The Real Housewives of Atlanta Recap: Mayhem in Miami!

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On a scale of 1-10, the drama on last night's The Real Housewives of Atlanta registered an 11. What led to such mayhem in Miami? Our critic reveals all in the following review...

Nene Leakes was in rare form... and that's saying a lot.  From the moment she got on the tour bus, Nene attacked Kim about her singing, her dancing, her treatment of Sweetie, her wigs; for basically just being alive.  Nene demanded respect and when Kim told her to shut up, that seemed to set off some chemical imbalance in Nene's head.

Phaedra Parks Pic

Sheree, Phaedra and Cynthia were hoping for the most relaxing weekend of their lives and had no idea what awaited them when the bus finally appeared in the driveway of Thomas Kramer's Star Island mansion.  A "Big Popppa-esque" friend of Kim's, creepy Thomas, had offered up his estate for the ladies to use for their getaway. 

They were shocked when Nene and Kim shot out of the bus like bats out of Hell.  Phaedra felt like she was watching a UFC match.  Sheree was stunned at the level of anger Nene was spewing.  Nene was all about "slaves and popping eyes out!" (Thank you, Phaedra.)  And Cynthia thought this was going to be a mellow weekend.  Surprise!

Upon meeting Thomas, Nene's first words to him were how she couldn't believe he was friends with a whack job like Kim.  The other ladies just looked around in disbelief at the ticky tacky hacienda.  Eccentric didn't even begin to describe the place.  Not only was the mansion painted a bizarre red, but the inside contained enough stuffed wildlife and freakish artwork to fill a sideshow.  Perfect for the circus this weekend had become.

Sweetie was upset at Nene's stupidity.  How dare Nene call her a slave? Slaves don't get paid, dumbass! Kim tried to console Sweetie and hoped that Sweetie didn't think she really treated her like a peasant. 

Meanwhile, Kandi sided with Nene on how Kim talks to people.  But she reminded Nene that Sweetie is a grown ass woman.  She can make her own decisions on how she'll be treated.  Kim mistakenly thought Kandi would have her back on this one and made the decision that her friendship with Nene was over.  Strangle me once, shame on you...strangle me twice, shame on me.  Game over.

The tension was out of control in the house.  Nene wanted to stay at a hotel, but the ladies told her that would ruin the whole point of getting together for a "girls only" weekend so she stayed.  They should have let her go.  She bitched, she griped, she moaned, she rolled her eyes until it looked as if she were having a seizure.  Especially annoyed that everyone seemed to have invited a guest, Nene was upset that nobody was following the rules.  When Ladyboy Lawrence, Sheree's hair stylist, showed up for dinner Nene decided she need an ally and invited her friend Diana, aka "The Hulk," down for the weekend.

Kim and Kandi played their final gig of the tour at an outdoor music festival.  Kim mercifully only performed "Tardy for the Party" since they had to cut her stage time down to one song. 

Nene attended the show, but was beyond bored.  Sheree and Phaedra were pleasantly surprised by her performance.  Kandi killed on stage when she sang "Fly Above" and declared that she was super ready to be on the top of the charts again.  The promo tour went well, but Kandi was glad it was finally over.

At brunch the next day, Kim made the decision there was no reason Sweetie should be sent home now that Nene had invited Diana for the weekend.  The weekend was not about Nene, it was about Cynthia, so to Hell with Nene's "rules."  Kim called out Nene for being an ungrateful guest and told her if she was so unhappy with the estate and Thomas' hospitality then she should stop chowing down his food and guzzling his wine.  Was Nene the worst houseguest ever?  Hell to the yes!

Cynthia stressed out about her impending (maybe) wedding the entire weekend.  She was in Miami for her AZ Araujo bikini runway show and decided to focus on that, at least for the moment. After all, she needed the money.  Looking fierce in the bathing suits she modeled, the ladies were all amazed at how much junk Cynthia had in her trunk.  Who knew? 

Complimentary to her face, the cattiness hurled by the ladies behind Cynthia's back was meow-mean.  Sheree judged Cynthia to be a size 12; Nene said "young" was not on Cynthia's side; and Phaedra eloquently commented that Cynthia looked like a pretzel dipped in cottage cheese.

Cynthia's stress level peaked at lunch the following day when Kandi asked about Cynthia's honeymoon plans.  Breaking down, she ran out and Nene tried to convince her that they should leave Miami immediately.  Sheree was beyond livid and thought Cynthia was an ungrateful bitch.  The ladies had all flown down to Miami for Cynthia's bachelorette party and now Cynthia wanted to bail?  Sheree advised Cynthia to get out from under Nene's ass and woman up.

The ladies discussed the source of Cynthia's stress being financial and her wanting to save face by continuing with the wedding plans. They all agreed that Cynthia had to get married for the right reasons.  That didn't mean canceling the bachelorette party, though.  Phaedra had strippers lined up, after all, and she couldn't let those go to waste.

Sheree convinced Cynthia to stay and the party finally got going when Ladyboy Lawrence broke the ice by doing spot-on imitations of all the ladies.  Phaedra's stripper clients (!?!) gyrated about and the weekend finally came together.

Finally relaxed, Cynthia was ready to face her wedding drama back home.  Here comes the (runaway) bride!

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hello,people ;well I do love the show,clearly.but neenee is out of line; the way she has been acting is troubling,and when neenee was going at kim on the bus was not women like at all.
well, I think neenee is really mad at kim because kim is doing a lot better then neenee could ever do,and sweetie is a sweetie pie and who would;nt love 2 have her.
I hope that everlyone can make it work out all the lady,s on housewife of atlana is off the chain. jeannie. longview texas.

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This last episode was unbelievable! NeNe shows that you can't buy class and that you really can't turn a pole dancer into a housewife. As she states in the opening...when she enters a room, she owns the room. Her intentions are ill-willed towards everyone...from Kim's tour/song/performance/relationship with Sweetie, to Cynthia's body in a bathing suit/age/wedding plans/fiance'/finances, etc. Then she intruded in on Kandi and Kim's final tour and made a mess of that. Followed by the ultimate insult of being invited to someone's home and to act the way she did and at someone elses expense. I see why Greg is bailing because she is an embarrassment. Phaedra and Sheree need to speak up on the show, and not in the commentary, to put NeNe in her place.

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thank god I don't know any of these women. They would of all been on bad girls club twenty years earlier.what an embarrassing bunch.

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wow just started watching this one and my! a couple of these "ladies"? really have no class at all. The series is starting to show Atlanta in a pretty bad light if this is a sampling of the women in the society portion.. Sheesh, might have to shy away from this bunch

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NeNe is a low life, she should not be on TV, she makes woman of Atlanta look cheap

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Nene was out of line in so many ways...Ok I do agree that the girls weekend should of been all about the girls. Don't these woman know that they all were invited to stay at someones home, not their friends. Sweetie, Lawrence and Diana should not have been invited. Then for Nene to insult the person who has opened his home to all of you, shame on you Nene. Nene has always been my favorite housewife besides Kandi, but your actions really disturb me. I feel you should of just gone home after the bus situation and since you did decide to stay you should of just behaved accordingly. Insulting Thomas's home, while eating and drinking his food was too much for me. I love you Nene but I feel you are not a good example for young girls in Atlanta or even around the world on how a adult should act. I may be wrong but Kandi is the youngest one of the bunch and she has more sense and acts more like a lady than most of you.

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Why does nene work for a tv station when she can't handle herself in a grown-up and proffesional manner?

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again nene shows her ass get a grip girl

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Nene really needs to grow up..she blames things on Kim and calls her all kinds of names like a child when clearly she is the childish one! Smh

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@Jill: But she can probably spell "ghetto."

The Real Housewives of Atlanta Quotes

[to Kenya Moore] You best hope nothing happens to me, because you might not have a job. I'm your storyline. I sustain your career . . . I built you, so stop playing games.

Apollo Nida

[to Kenya Moore] "You a sneaky, trifling slut."

Phaedra Parks