The Real Housewives of Atlanta Recap: Mayhem in Miami!

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On a scale of 1-10, the drama on last night's The Real Housewives of Atlanta registered an 11. What led to such mayhem in Miami? Our critic reveals all in the following review...

Nene Leakes was in rare form... and that's saying a lot.  From the moment she got on the tour bus, Nene attacked Kim about her singing, her dancing, her treatment of Sweetie, her wigs; for basically just being alive.  Nene demanded respect and when Kim told her to shut up, that seemed to set off some chemical imbalance in Nene's head.

Phaedra Parks Pic

Sheree, Phaedra and Cynthia were hoping for the most relaxing weekend of their lives and had no idea what awaited them when the bus finally appeared in the driveway of Thomas Kramer's Star Island mansion.  A "Big Popppa-esque" friend of Kim's, creepy Thomas, had offered up his estate for the ladies to use for their getaway. 

They were shocked when Nene and Kim shot out of the bus like bats out of Hell.  Phaedra felt like she was watching a UFC match.  Sheree was stunned at the level of anger Nene was spewing.  Nene was all about "slaves and popping eyes out!" (Thank you, Phaedra.)  And Cynthia thought this was going to be a mellow weekend.  Surprise!

Upon meeting Thomas, Nene's first words to him were how she couldn't believe he was friends with a whack job like Kim.  The other ladies just looked around in disbelief at the ticky tacky hacienda.  Eccentric didn't even begin to describe the place.  Not only was the mansion painted a bizarre red, but the inside contained enough stuffed wildlife and freakish artwork to fill a sideshow.  Perfect for the circus this weekend had become.

Sweetie was upset at Nene's stupidity.  How dare Nene call her a slave? Slaves don't get paid, dumbass! Kim tried to console Sweetie and hoped that Sweetie didn't think she really treated her like a peasant. 

Meanwhile, Kandi sided with Nene on how Kim talks to people.  But she reminded Nene that Sweetie is a grown ass woman.  She can make her own decisions on how she'll be treated.  Kim mistakenly thought Kandi would have her back on this one and made the decision that her friendship with Nene was over.  Strangle me once, shame on you...strangle me twice, shame on me.  Game over.

The tension was out of control in the house.  Nene wanted to stay at a hotel, but the ladies told her that would ruin the whole point of getting together for a "girls only" weekend so she stayed.  They should have let her go.  She bitched, she griped, she moaned, she rolled her eyes until it looked as if she were having a seizure.  Especially annoyed that everyone seemed to have invited a guest, Nene was upset that nobody was following the rules.  When Ladyboy Lawrence, Sheree's hair stylist, showed up for dinner Nene decided she need an ally and invited her friend Diana, aka "The Hulk," down for the weekend.

Kim and Kandi played their final gig of the tour at an outdoor music festival.  Kim mercifully only performed "Tardy for the Party" since they had to cut her stage time down to one song. 

Nene attended the show, but was beyond bored.  Sheree and Phaedra were pleasantly surprised by her performance.  Kandi killed on stage when she sang "Fly Above" and declared that she was super ready to be on the top of the charts again.  The promo tour went well, but Kandi was glad it was finally over.

At brunch the next day, Kim made the decision there was no reason Sweetie should be sent home now that Nene had invited Diana for the weekend.  The weekend was not about Nene, it was about Cynthia, so to Hell with Nene's "rules."  Kim called out Nene for being an ungrateful guest and told her if she was so unhappy with the estate and Thomas' hospitality then she should stop chowing down his food and guzzling his wine.  Was Nene the worst houseguest ever?  Hell to the yes!

Cynthia stressed out about her impending (maybe) wedding the entire weekend.  She was in Miami for her AZ Araujo bikini runway show and decided to focus on that, at least for the moment. After all, she needed the money.  Looking fierce in the bathing suits she modeled, the ladies were all amazed at how much junk Cynthia had in her trunk.  Who knew? 

Complimentary to her face, the cattiness hurled by the ladies behind Cynthia's back was meow-mean.  Sheree judged Cynthia to be a size 12; Nene said "young" was not on Cynthia's side; and Phaedra eloquently commented that Cynthia looked like a pretzel dipped in cottage cheese.

Cynthia's stress level peaked at lunch the following day when Kandi asked about Cynthia's honeymoon plans.  Breaking down, she ran out and Nene tried to convince her that they should leave Miami immediately.  Sheree was beyond livid and thought Cynthia was an ungrateful bitch.  The ladies had all flown down to Miami for Cynthia's bachelorette party and now Cynthia wanted to bail?  Sheree advised Cynthia to get out from under Nene's ass and woman up.

The ladies discussed the source of Cynthia's stress being financial and her wanting to save face by continuing with the wedding plans. They all agreed that Cynthia had to get married for the right reasons.  That didn't mean canceling the bachelorette party, though.  Phaedra had strippers lined up, after all, and she couldn't let those go to waste.

Sheree convinced Cynthia to stay and the party finally got going when Ladyboy Lawrence broke the ice by doing spot-on imitations of all the ladies.  Phaedra's stripper clients (!?!) gyrated about and the weekend finally came together.

Finally relaxed, Cynthia was ready to face her wedding drama back home.  Here comes the (runaway) bride!

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NeNe is so out of line. It's time for Bravo /RHW to put a stop to this stereotyping BS of NeNe's. I use to like her, but she has now so crossed the line. I think her husband was correct when he indicated on some radio show that Nene has let fame and fortune go to her head. I'm not saying that these women have real fortune, but enough to pretend on a production that helps them appear like they do and help them to get more 'fortune'. Drama brings ratings but we aren't tuning in to 'jerry springer'. This is a call for RHW's to put the class and dignity back in the show or we will all lose in the long run!

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In my opinion Kim is the only one who is not two faced she will tell it like it is to whom ever she needs to. The rest talk behind eachothers backs ...two faced. I used to like Nene but she is getting so annoying lately. Kim and Nene are the ones who bring the drama and lets face it without the drama...could be boring. Nene just needs to stop being so angry.

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First of all, Why is this called Atlanta Housewives? Only 2 people are married and if it weren't for NeNe this show would be so boring, who cares about all the crap going on in this show, these people are not friends, this is not how real friends treat each other and why didn't anyone offer to help Cynthia with her finances if they supposedly have so much money. The housewives with money are in California's housewives. These are all fake and wanna be's . They all need to take a course on Class 101. Kim is a trick and why doesn't she find herself some friends. Sheree is a fake and wanna be. Kandi wish she could sing. Cynthia is marrying a mean a-- man who is broke as a joke. NeNe needs to get it together and stop trying to be someone she isn't, she is just a hoodrat. Phadra is almost a diva???????

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I'll probably tune in again next week to see if NeNe murders Kim!

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Last night's episode wasn't the finale. The final episode of this season's Real Housewives of Atlanta will air this Sunday, January 30, 2011 at 10 PM.

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nene is jelous of kim.......

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It's scripted people!!!!!! It's all for tv & ratings. Common!!!!!

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Why are these women even friends? They stab one another in the back as soon as they get a chance. The only one in the mix who has not be hit with the poopie is Kandi. I thought Cynthia was going to add some substance to the group, but I was soo wrong. Nene is so negative that it is hard to watch the show any more. She has nothing good to say about anyone. Kim is two-faced as can be. If this is how Atlanta high society really relates to one another, then I am so glad I will never be a part of it.
Classless is what they are: Kim -invits Nene on KANDI'S tour

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All of these women are pathetic; funny, but I always thought that "Hotlanta" was supposed to be sexy and classy, but these women obviously are neither - except for Kandi; she's the only one that seems to be normal. Nene is (to borrow a line from the RHof New York) "a thug in a dress"; forget political correctness - Kim is retarded; Phaedra is childish for keeping crap going on by confronting Cynthnia on the "my baby is an alien" statement; Sheree was pretty natural in her 'acting' debut, but please stop acting like you're the next Dorothy Dandridge...'k? And as for Cynthia...girlfriend get yourself a brain and realize that forging ahead with a wedding you can't afford to a man you're (at least at this point) uncertain of is NOT the way to start a marriage off on a good footing.

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cant stand nene she is such a hater and cant control kim anymore so she is miserable with her bigfoot looking self and ugly as hell. She is a bully and someone should slap her down to reality. She is so critical and has the nerve to eat and drink peoples food; and complain the entire time about who should be at this outing...who cares she did not plan it and spend no monies who gives a f...what she thinks..she used to be one of my favorites cant stand that 7ft bully bear look-alike.

The Real Housewives of Atlanta Quotes

[to Kenya Moore] You best hope nothing happens to me, because you might not have a job. I'm your storyline. I sustain your career . . . I built you, so stop playing games.

Apollo Nida

[to Kenya Moore] "You a sneaky, trifling slut."

Phaedra Parks