The Real Housewives of Atlanta Recap: Mayhem in Miami!

by at . Comments

On a scale of 1-10, the drama on last night's The Real Housewives of Atlanta registered an 11. What led to such mayhem in Miami? Our critic reveals all in the following review...

Nene Leakes was in rare form... and that's saying a lot.  From the moment she got on the tour bus, Nene attacked Kim about her singing, her dancing, her treatment of Sweetie, her wigs; for basically just being alive.  Nene demanded respect and when Kim told her to shut up, that seemed to set off some chemical imbalance in Nene's head.

Phaedra Parks Pic

Sheree, Phaedra and Cynthia were hoping for the most relaxing weekend of their lives and had no idea what awaited them when the bus finally appeared in the driveway of Thomas Kramer's Star Island mansion.  A "Big Popppa-esque" friend of Kim's, creepy Thomas, had offered up his estate for the ladies to use for their getaway. 

They were shocked when Nene and Kim shot out of the bus like bats out of Hell.  Phaedra felt like she was watching a UFC match.  Sheree was stunned at the level of anger Nene was spewing.  Nene was all about "slaves and popping eyes out!" (Thank you, Phaedra.)  And Cynthia thought this was going to be a mellow weekend.  Surprise!

Upon meeting Thomas, Nene's first words to him were how she couldn't believe he was friends with a whack job like Kim.  The other ladies just looked around in disbelief at the ticky tacky hacienda.  Eccentric didn't even begin to describe the place.  Not only was the mansion painted a bizarre red, but the inside contained enough stuffed wildlife and freakish artwork to fill a sideshow.  Perfect for the circus this weekend had become.

Sweetie was upset at Nene's stupidity.  How dare Nene call her a slave? Slaves don't get paid, dumbass! Kim tried to console Sweetie and hoped that Sweetie didn't think she really treated her like a peasant. 

Meanwhile, Kandi sided with Nene on how Kim talks to people.  But she reminded Nene that Sweetie is a grown ass woman.  She can make her own decisions on how she'll be treated.  Kim mistakenly thought Kandi would have her back on this one and made the decision that her friendship with Nene was over.  Strangle me once, shame on you...strangle me twice, shame on me.  Game over.

The tension was out of control in the house.  Nene wanted to stay at a hotel, but the ladies told her that would ruin the whole point of getting together for a "girls only" weekend so she stayed.  They should have let her go.  She bitched, she griped, she moaned, she rolled her eyes until it looked as if she were having a seizure.  Especially annoyed that everyone seemed to have invited a guest, Nene was upset that nobody was following the rules.  When Ladyboy Lawrence, Sheree's hair stylist, showed up for dinner Nene decided she need an ally and invited her friend Diana, aka "The Hulk," down for the weekend.

Kim and Kandi played their final gig of the tour at an outdoor music festival.  Kim mercifully only performed "Tardy for the Party" since they had to cut her stage time down to one song. 

Nene attended the show, but was beyond bored.  Sheree and Phaedra were pleasantly surprised by her performance.  Kandi killed on stage when she sang "Fly Above" and declared that she was super ready to be on the top of the charts again.  The promo tour went well, but Kandi was glad it was finally over.

At brunch the next day, Kim made the decision there was no reason Sweetie should be sent home now that Nene had invited Diana for the weekend.  The weekend was not about Nene, it was about Cynthia, so to Hell with Nene's "rules."  Kim called out Nene for being an ungrateful guest and told her if she was so unhappy with the estate and Thomas' hospitality then she should stop chowing down his food and guzzling his wine.  Was Nene the worst houseguest ever?  Hell to the yes!

Cynthia stressed out about her impending (maybe) wedding the entire weekend.  She was in Miami for her AZ Araujo bikini runway show and decided to focus on that, at least for the moment. After all, she needed the money.  Looking fierce in the bathing suits she modeled, the ladies were all amazed at how much junk Cynthia had in her trunk.  Who knew? 

Complimentary to her face, the cattiness hurled by the ladies behind Cynthia's back was meow-mean.  Sheree judged Cynthia to be a size 12; Nene said "young" was not on Cynthia's side; and Phaedra eloquently commented that Cynthia looked like a pretzel dipped in cottage cheese.

Cynthia's stress level peaked at lunch the following day when Kandi asked about Cynthia's honeymoon plans.  Breaking down, she ran out and Nene tried to convince her that they should leave Miami immediately.  Sheree was beyond livid and thought Cynthia was an ungrateful bitch.  The ladies had all flown down to Miami for Cynthia's bachelorette party and now Cynthia wanted to bail?  Sheree advised Cynthia to get out from under Nene's ass and woman up.

The ladies discussed the source of Cynthia's stress being financial and her wanting to save face by continuing with the wedding plans. They all agreed that Cynthia had to get married for the right reasons.  That didn't mean canceling the bachelorette party, though.  Phaedra had strippers lined up, after all, and she couldn't let those go to waste.

Sheree convinced Cynthia to stay and the party finally got going when Ladyboy Lawrence broke the ice by doing spot-on imitations of all the ladies.  Phaedra's stripper clients (!?!) gyrated about and the weekend finally came together.

Finally relaxed, Cynthia was ready to face her wedding drama back home.  Here comes the (runaway) bride!

Tags:
Avatar

Black in FATlanta ...*cough cough* ..NENE

Avatar

OMG how creepy is Thomas Kramer?? Kim is now 5 months pregnant - could it be a baby creepy kramer??

Avatar

I too was a huge fan of NeNe leakes, but she has lost that status. I have zero tolerance for ghetto ignorance. get it together. You should take lessons from Phaedra, Sherree,Kandi, Cynthia and believe it or not, sometimes Kim. Stop showing your A** and show some class, girl...for real!. I am sick of it and you know Kim is a sista from another mother! Oh< Cynthia, please, please, pray about your issue because you are treading on dangerous waters with that bad attitude fiance' of yours. His attitude stinks like sewerage (from the south, girl, but excuse my word usage). Sincerely,
JadaK
Prairieville, La.

Avatar

I think NeNe was way out of line with Kim, It did'nt take all of that, I'm starting to think that she really is haten on Kim, & Cynthia needs to down size that wedding if there having money problems,I like Cynthia,& She deserves better than Peter, he seems like he's mean to her.

Avatar

I haven't seen this episode yet but I can hardly wait! The blogger who owns this site is hysterically funny and so are the rest of the bloggers. Thanks for making me laugh out loud for several minutes here! Will post again after I see this train wreck.

Avatar

I think nene is a hater she talk to much

Avatar

I think Nene should have kept her mouth shut.It was not about her.This tour was about Kandi & Kim.If anyone had the right to say anything was Kandie towards Kim.ww

Avatar

You all need to leave Nene alone! If I was trapped on a bus with Kim I probably would want to strangle her. She talks a lot of s### that she can't backup. Then acts like she is a victim. She doesn't know when to stop. Quit running your mouth so much Kim!

Avatar

That house-guy was so creepy that my skin crawled. Everything about him and his tacky house was perverted and creepy. What in the world does Kim find attractive in him outside of his hedonistic Pan-loving orgy house? NeNe seems like she's falling off a cliff, in slow motion. I have to give kudos to Kim for making her dream work, especially when she can't carry a tune and is tone-deaf. The meanness of the "girls" towards Cynthia was indicative of their truly shallow mentality. If she's their friend, and she's pouring out her heart, why not offer to help her financially, if they're all such millionaires? Their snide catty remarks about her modeling was transparent. Cynthia is GORGEOUS! The others are nowhere near her league. Finally, I wish Kim didn't destroy her lips. She was far prettier with her original face. That beesting look was detrimental to her face. Before her ridiculous lip implant, she had a beautifully shaped mouth. Now, she looks plastic.

Avatar

Don't usually watch the Atlanta show - the women are too trashy, loud and ignorant, but caught this one. What a bunch of low-life losers, especially NeNe, who is one ugly, scary dude. Cynthia and Sherree are attractive and seem to have some spark of intelligence, but Cynthia is throwing herself away for a big expensive wedding she and her creepy fiancee can't afford. There are a couple of people commenting here that they are surprised that the high society people of Atlanta act this way. Huh? Get a grip! No one with any place in acceptable society in Atlanta would watch this show, let alone be on it. These women and the 3 remaining broke-ass husbands/fiances all need to crawl back to the ghetto they came from.

The Real Housewives of Atlanta Quotes

[to Kenya Moore] You best hope nothing happens to me, because you might not have a job. I'm your storyline. I sustain your career . . . I built you, so stop playing games.

Apollo Nida

[to Kenya Moore] "You a sneaky, trifling slut."

Phaedra Parks
× Close Ad