The Bachelor's second week went as it typically does. With the field needing to be pared down, the tensions rise and there are some really cheesy dates.

Also, Brad Womack decides to "really come out of his shell," while some of the women "show their true colors." This just sounds like a press release, no?

Onward to THG's trademark plus-minus recap!

WHITE FANG: Leave it to The Vampire Diaries, Brad.

Ashley Hebert goes on an amusement park one-on-one date with Brad. Staged ferris wheel kiss aside, we find ourselves liking this Ashley girl. Plus 5.

B-Dubs: "I made a stronger connection tonight than I did in a whole month last time." Oh, that hurts if you're Jenni Croft or DeAnna Pappas! Minus 3.

You've got to hand it to Britt and Chantal for going at it in that faux threesome. Plus 7 for trying to show up the other girl also in bed with them.

Minus 4 for Melissa's awkward FAIL of an attempt to intervene, though.

Brad's as bad of an actor as he is a good, media-trained Bachelor. Plus 3.

There's no better way to raise awareness about donating blood. Minus 2.

They let Madison bring her own dominatrix attire? Nice! Plus 4.

Taking a cue from the Vienna Girardi School of The Bachelor, Michelle Money decides to whine a lot about not getting attention it works! Weak, Brad. Minus 12.

Michelle ... the '80s called. They want their clothes back, birthday girl. Plus 4.

Rachel ... Sorry, Raichel ... Spanx do not qualify as a dress ... ohhh. Minus 6.

Melissa and Rachel get into an epic feud about ... eh, who the hell knows, but there are cracks about their ages (32 and 21) and neither gets a rose, so Plus 15.

All in all, the girls' "breaking point" was reached a little early this season. Minus 2.

His greatest fear is ending up alone. And/or with some terrible disease. Plus 4.

Michelle just fist-bumped Starbucks. Minus 3.

The sign at the Hollywood Bowl says "For Jackie. Love, Brad." Come on. We all know it should say "For Jackie. Love, Host-Pimp Chris Harrison." Minus 13.

Jackie is treated to a private concert from the band Train. Where, oh where have we seen a date like this before? Try and top this next week, Seal. Plus 6.

Brad grammatical gems: "Irregardless" and "am-pa-thee-ATE-er." Minus 5.

Emily Maynard (above) is so making the finale. She's like a less-plastic Holly Madison, and Brad is going to fall in love with her kid too. Wait for it. Plus 18.

Ali Fedotowsky and Roberto Martinez agree. Need we say more? Plus 3.

Eliminated Rockette Keltie laments that going on the show was her "last-ditch effort" to find love. Girl, it's The Bachelor, and girl, you're like 12. Minus 7.

We understand her frustration though. She lost out to people who we forgot were on the show. Seriously, who are some of these girls? Even, just asking.

TOTAL: +12. SEASON TOTAL: +29.

ROSE RECIPIENTS: Alli Travis, Ashley Hebert (1-on-1), Ashley Spivey, Britt Billmaier, Chantal O’Brien, Emily Maynard, Jackie Gordon (1-on-1), Kim Coon, Lindsay Hill, Lisa Morrisey, Madison Garton, Marissa May, Meghan Merritt, Michelle Money (Group), Sarah Powell, Shawntel Newton, Stacey Queripel.

OUT: Raichel Goodyear, Melissa Schreiber, and Keltie Colleen.