The Bachelor Recap: Black Eyes, Bad Comma Use

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Last night's episode of The Bachelor was all about facing fears. Or so the cue cards claimed. Who's up to the task and who's packing their bags, ladies?

The fourth installment of the season met its usual quota of tears, catty comments, unintentional comedy and awkwardly-phrased sentences from Brad.

How did it all play out? Let's break it down in THG's classic +/- recap!

Michelle Money Pic

Michelle Money is really coming into her own as an insane contestant.

The episode hilariously opens with Michelle waking up to learn she has a black eye. "I have no idea what happened," she tells Brad. Meghan thinks she's just trying to get attention ... by punching her own face?! Eh, we'll buy it. Plus 10.

Ashley S. couldn't care less how it happened, she just wishes she'd been responsible. "I want to rip her head off," she says. Girl, tone down the crazy. Minus 4.

Off to Catalina with Chantal. Where Kip-Ten fell in love. So poetic. Plus 3.

Chantal name-checks all the Bachelor catch-phrases in like three minutes: "Find the right person," "I have trust," "He's worth it," "Follow my heart," etc. Minus 9.

Over dinner she tells Brad that she wants to get married again. We admit, we sort of like Chantal O'Brien. Brad really seems to act like himself with her. Plus 8.

Dude needs to speak without being so rehearsed though. His scripted lines don't always come out right, i.e. "I want to continue this, badly, with you." Minus 3.

Brad On the Hot Seat

Brad pretends he'd heard of Dr. Drew three hours prior to this.

Minus 6 for the group going to Loveline with Dr. Drew and acting like they're being all profound in opening up about relationships. Just seems silly and contrived.

Outside, Ashley H. is worried she's not getting any time with Brad. She then proceeds to get all kinds of drunk at the pool party. Gotta love The Bachelor. Plus 6.

Brad is going to give her a rose to make her feel better, but "UGH, this is AWKWARD!" she wails, interrupting Brad and earning Britt the rose instead. Minus 14.

Ashley H. is coming out of her shell and providing a nice, not-quite-as-nuts kind of crazy counterbalance to Michelle, though. We hope she sticks around. Plus 4.

As The Bachelor spoilers predicted, Michelle gets a one-on-one date. And is just as insane as you think about "ME TIME!" She can become grating fast. Minus 7.

Before rappelling down the side of an LA skyscraper, a tearful Michelle decides to "take a leap of faith for love." Good one, Chris and Mike. Well-written. Plus 9.

Brad and Emily Pic

Just pop the question already, Brad. We know you want to.

Even though she didn't get a one-on-one date, Brad takes Emily Maynard outside for a private picnic. Sort of gives the shaft to the other gals, but it's Emily. Plus 10.

Chantal is most affected by Brad's gesture, questioning whether she is "unstable" and "meek" enough for Brad. Wow, rough. But kind of true, so Minus only 3.

"It's hard to be reminded he has special things with other people too." - Chantal. On The Bachelor, yes, who'd ever have seen that shocking twist coming. Plus 4.

Again with Brad's odd comma use. After he cuts three women loose, he says "Come here, to me, please?" Brad, it's okay to speak off the cuff at times. Minus 7.

At least they got Chris Harrison out of bed for the ceremony. Plus 3.

TOTAL: +4. SEASON TOTAL: +46.

ROSE RECIPIENTS: Alli Travis, Ashley Hebert, Ashley Spivey, Britt Billmaier, Chantal O’Brien, Emily Maynard, Jackie Gordon, Lisa Morrisey, Marissa May, Michelle Money, Shawntel Newton.

OUT: Stacey Queripel, Meghan Merritt and Lindsey Hill.

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GUYS-
PLAY BOY IS A PORN THEY JUST MAKE IT SOUND LIKE CLASSIC PORN.
if females are willing to spread their legs in the magzine then it's a porn!
beshrew all playboy whores!!! and the creater! we hate blondies because even Emily's hair isn't real blond.
what else is fake about her??? wake up people!
I'm a model and I know what goes on behind closed doors.

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we hate emily because come on--- let's face it! she not for real in life. Her husband died and she's ready this quick to meet someone and kiss and make out??? There was a proof that she was in playboy! EMILY LOOSE THE SHOT!

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I think Brad is an EMOTIONAL WRECK BRAIN FART! HE is the UNSTABLE ONE!! Look at him...like he's just a MESS!! He's too rehearsed, too messed up in the head ...still!! HE IS!! Come on people, doesn't take a DR. of any kind to figure that out!! And calling in that guy for his opinion and help was a PRIME Example of this. He's still not right in his head...like he has to be TOLD what way to go or what's right...just like when he had that couple there, to TELL HIM what THEY thought about which girls where there for the RIGHT REASONS!! I wouldn't want HIM or even ALLOW him to touch me, except...to BE ON TV and hopefully get seen and offered another show of some sort!! ha ha!! That's REALLY what those girls are there for! Be for real people...this is ALL a SHAM!! IT's A DAMN SHOW!! And a COMEDY of ERRORs it IS!

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I know this is a common opinion, but I just have to say it: Michelle is off-the-chain crazy. She is only remaining because she is hot. Damn shallow men.

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they are so right about how there should just be one rose. is there any doubt he will propose to emily?

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michelle is obsessive about brad.she is insistent re;the other girls time with him.I feel she will crack while there due to her insecurities ¡¡

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He needs to get rid of Michelle she is a wacko, she probably punched herself in the eye to get attention, if not one of the girls should of done it....I really like Chantal and Emily...I hope he picks Emily!!

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Michelle is a total psycho! She should be eliminated ASAP!!!!!!!! She is a danger to the other girls...... :-(

The Bachelor Quotes

There’s still a lot of growing to do in our relationship. We will not tie the knot until I am mentally and physically prepared as well as Matt.

Shayne Lamas

It was a fairytale proposal like I’ve always dreamed about. I forgot that there [were] cameras around. In that moment, it was just Matt and I and it was the most amazing moment of my entire life.

Shayne Lamas [on proposal by Matt Grant]
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