Jersey Shore Recap: Sammi is the New Angelina

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Sammi Giancola has become that which she abhors.

Granted, as a miserable human being and very painful individual, Sammi Giancola abhors a great many things. But Angelina Pivarnick might top the list.

Having turned herself into the house pariah and destined to hitch a ride out of town before long, Sammi has morphed into Ange 2.0. It's sad and wonderful.

As always, THG breaks down all the best Jersey Shore quotes and scenes from last night's installment of the "reality" show in its patented +/- recap below:

Fists of Fury

Last week's epic smackdown resumes in the opening moments.

Plus 16 for the resumption of the fight that ended last week's season premiere. Girl pulled out some of JWoww's hair. Not a wise move if you want to live.

The boys go to the gym. Having no friends, Sam tries to go with. Minus 5.

Ronnie and Sammi seem to hate Jersey Shore more than the faction of fans on THG's Facebook who want to GET THIS TRASH OFF THE AIR!!!!!!!!!! Plus 7.

Angelina made a better Angelina than Sam, we're thinking. Minus 4.

Snooki can fit into a suitcase. This is definitely useful to know and not all that surprising. Can we check that bag on a one-way flight to Bangkok? Plus 6.

Little Baggage

Hope the airlines don't accidentally lose this baggage ...

Vinny raps the t-shirt time theme song. Sorry, but it's no Pauly D. Minus 3.

At the club some girl started following Vinny around. Complete stalker style. Just creepy stuff, but Plus 2 for his line about her being the parasite. Spot on.

JWoww, wasted, calls boyfriend Tom to learn she forgot it was their anniversary. No wonder dude is threatening to leak those JWoww nude pics now. Minus 10.

The scene where JWoww finds Snooki hiding in the bush must have been like what explorers felt braving the jungles of Africa in the mid-20th Century. Plus 7.

Naturally, The Situation tries to move in on Vinny's girl. Again. Minus 9.

The Outcast

Sammi is the new outcast, and mostly by choice.

No matter what nonsense Sitch pulls from time to time, he has always been about the "family," and remains surprisingly well-liked because of it. Plus 8.

Sammi, being the diva that she is, basically said she could care less that she missed out on family dinner, which doesn't sit well with the gang. Minus 6.

Deena on herself and BFF Snooki: "We're the exact same size, same body shape kind of, we're such a blast!" In a glass, you could even say. Plus 4.

Sammi Giancola and Ronnie Magro have one of their epic arguments, rehashing everything in Miami. Man, could these two suck any more? Minus 13.

In conclusion, a full episode just about Snooki and Deena trying to get the kickball back - with an assist from Vinny - would be worth watching. Plus 5.

TOTAL: +5. SEASON TOTAL: +35.

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The show is scripted! Commenters: why are you so upset over these charactes? Ugh! Like these peeps could really run around the shore without people all over them. Sammi is obviously jealous of the other girls; possibly jealous of all the media attention they're getting. But c'mon that girl is as dry as the air in Arizona. She reminds me of a pill popper I know. Very unbalanced. Up down up down. Maybe it's diet pills? She reminds me of an opiate user. Depression. Just ugggh! Aaa: It's " I could care less" it makes perfect sense! Haha!

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I've liked Sammi from the beginning so I gotta say I feel bad for the girl. The first season she was really nice -especially to Snooki when everyone was making fun of her. The moment she began dating Ronnie she turned into a different person, and the blame can't be held on her alone. When you start a relationship and the other person becomes unfaithful your mentality changes. The girl went through a lot in Miami, fighting both Ronnie and the other girls - so she's basically alone in the house. I think everyone in the house is immature and unwilling to solve their issues with each other - so nothing ever gets resolved. BUT drama makes for good television so either way it's entertaining : )

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Sammi got whooped ! She didn ' t even win the first fight . I hope that b**** goes home ( : Just sayin '

Team jwoww

I lovee sammi just as much as snooki & jenny, but it would be awesome if they could all just settle their differences and try to be good girlfriends again. As seen in next weeks epsiode where sammi tries to apologize... It was better when they all hated Angelina.

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Survivor.....ur either and idiot or u just don't know how to have a good time and probably have like 2 friends. Sammi is a over obsessive loser that doesn't trust her man therefor can't let him out of her sight, therefor needs to be up his ass 24/7. What kind of respect does she have for herself...none...low self esteem...jealous crazy psycho. Rons not allowed to be friends with anyone in the house bc she wants all the attention...PLEASE....such hate spewing from ur post on the wrong people...just bc those three go out and have a good time bc they are young and should be having fun doesn't mean they are trash...

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Im just glad sammi got wooped....

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I love Snooki, so hawt.

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I guess if ur not a alcoholic/wasted slut like jenny deanna or snooki u come off as a bitch. Deanna is unoriginal constantly jockin Snooki's personality. And Jenny seems 2me as the TRUE TRASH DUMP of the group. She needs 2get ovr herself. Sammi is getting unfair treatment. And last wk Snooki having the nerve 2 call sammi a SLUT. Lolz ya 0kay SNOOKI. U AND JW0WW AND DEANNA ARE SLUTS. N0 WAY ANY MAN WILL EVER RESPECT Y0U! IF THEY WERE RELATED 2ME I W0ULD BE EXTREMELY ASHAMED AND EMBARRASSED 0F THE WAY THEY LIVE THEIR LIVES. AH THEIR A BUNCH 0F ALC0H0LICS. THAT SH0W HAS T0TALY SHAMED AMERICA. AND W0MEN EVRYWHERE.

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I think the saying is "Could NOT care less". Doesn't make sense the other way...

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Sammi was right whenshe said his is just like Miami. She's getting in the way of an outstanding guilty pleasure. http://bit.ly/hhoUSq