Jersey Shore Recap: Sammi is the New Angelina

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Sammi Giancola has become that which she abhors.

Granted, as a miserable human being and very painful individual, Sammi Giancola abhors a great many things. But Angelina Pivarnick might top the list.

Having turned herself into the house pariah and destined to hitch a ride out of town before long, Sammi has morphed into Ange 2.0. It's sad and wonderful.

As always, THG breaks down all the best Jersey Shore quotes and scenes from last night's installment of the "reality" show in its patented +/- recap below:

Fists of Fury

Last week's epic smackdown resumes in the opening moments.

Plus 16 for the resumption of the fight that ended last week's season premiere. Girl pulled out some of JWoww's hair. Not a wise move if you want to live.

The boys go to the gym. Having no friends, Sam tries to go with. Minus 5.

Ronnie and Sammi seem to hate Jersey Shore more than the faction of fans on THG's Facebook who want to GET THIS TRASH OFF THE AIR!!!!!!!!!! Plus 7.

Angelina made a better Angelina than Sam, we're thinking. Minus 4.

Snooki can fit into a suitcase. This is definitely useful to know and not all that surprising. Can we check that bag on a one-way flight to Bangkok? Plus 6.

Little Baggage

Hope the airlines don't accidentally lose this baggage ...

Vinny raps the t-shirt time theme song. Sorry, but it's no Pauly D. Minus 3.

At the club some girl started following Vinny around. Complete stalker style. Just creepy stuff, but Plus 2 for his line about her being the parasite. Spot on.

JWoww, wasted, calls boyfriend Tom to learn she forgot it was their anniversary. No wonder dude is threatening to leak those JWoww nude pics now. Minus 10.

The scene where JWoww finds Snooki hiding in the bush must have been like what explorers felt braving the jungles of Africa in the mid-20th Century. Plus 7.

Naturally, The Situation tries to move in on Vinny's girl. Again. Minus 9.

The Outcast

Sammi is the new outcast, and mostly by choice.

No matter what nonsense Sitch pulls from time to time, he has always been about the "family," and remains surprisingly well-liked because of it. Plus 8.

Sammi, being the diva that she is, basically said she could care less that she missed out on family dinner, which doesn't sit well with the gang. Minus 6.

Deena on herself and BFF Snooki: "We're the exact same size, same body shape kind of, we're such a blast!" In a glass, you could even say. Plus 4.

Sammi Giancola and Ronnie Magro have one of their epic arguments, rehashing everything in Miami. Man, could these two suck any more? Minus 13.

In conclusion, a full episode just about Snooki and Deena trying to get the kickball back - with an assist from Vinny - would be worth watching. Plus 5.

TOTAL: +5. SEASON TOTAL: +35.

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I'm hiding in the bush, whore!

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@elizabeth are you fucking retarded?? Jwoww NEVER liked ron in that way she even said it herself that she would pick pauly over ron anyday *remember in season 1 she cheated on her bf with pauly* if she wanted ron she woulda made a move on him wayyy before any of that shit. And the way the girls told her was fine she got that he cheated on her but she still stayed with him and got mad at the girls?! She's a dumb broad who needs a man. But anyways I don't see why sammi even came back to the house if all she wanted to do was lay in bed ALL DAY and bitch and complain when ron wants to hang with the guys. Sam put herself in that situation of being alone in the house by talking shit to all the girls in the house because her bf cheated on her when she knew all along anyways but didn't want to believe it. She's dumb and needs to go home with her white belt!

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Give Sammie a break!!! She went in season 2 in love with Ronnie and he crapped all over her. Jwow had her eye on Ronnie since seasone 1. The girls were wrong in the way they informed Sammi of Ronnie's cheating. I hope Sammi get it together. I feel bad for her and really like her. I think it really sad they way they are portraying her.

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Exactly who would wanna watch this stupid show!

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That first picture really should deserve this: "B**** you got owned!"

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I kind of agree with H ... I sort of can't help liking Sammi a little bit or at least feeling sorry for her. She seems so unhappy, even if a lot of that is of her own making. Looking at her interacting with Ron is cringe-making. Like every guy really thinks, "yay! let's rehash every argument and reassure the chick of my feelings for the millionth time, instead of having stupid relaxing fun with the roomies!"

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I must be one of the few people that actually likes Sammie, I find Ronnie a little more disturbing though, you are to blame for this chicken going nuts..LOL the only one Sammie done wrong is Deena, I mean the chick is new cut her some slack, she is not to be hold responisble for what the other girls done..

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Sammi is so stupid! she can't get over the letter which pretty much put Ron on blast!The only person she should be angry and upset with is cheating ass Ron! She is boring and such a bitch..n without makeup looks like a troll! Jenny n Snooks just wanna have fun like all of us would! Sam just want to waste her time in bed doing nothing like BITCH go home!!!!

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Lmao. So n0w im an idiot with n0 friends just b.c my idea 0f a g0od time isnt dr0wning myself in liquor and going 0ut dressed as a pr0stitute! 0kay?! I have a very fulfilling life. Plenty 0f l0ved 0nes, friends, cow0rkers. And n0 0ne i kn0w acts like the SLUTS on Jersey Shore. Scripted or n0t the girlz 0n that sh0w are making w0men evrywhere l0ok like drunken wh0res. Im pretty sure these wh0res act like ths all the time. Y0u can tell. Their behavior is jst 2natural 0n the sh0w. W0w! Get paid 2have sex w rand0m men and drink untl ur falling d0wn drunk in PUBLIC. Yea i w0uld want n0thng 2d0 with THEM in the REAL W0RLD! I like 2drink 0ccasi0naly bt EVRYDAY? Sn0oki is a textb0ok alcoholic. Instead 0f GTL.... It sh0uld be GTL-AA! Lets see. Why are we concerned for Charlie Sheen and Lindsay Lohan then. H0w d0 we knw these Wh0res arent c0kin it up evryday 2 like them. I SAY WE AS W0MEN NEED BETTER W0MEN 2 L0OK UP 2 THAN DRUNKEN WH0RES. D0NT YA THINK!!

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HAHA These animated pictures of Snooki doing backflips with her cooka out are hilarious: http://bit.ly/gf71gC