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Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt insist on torturing us with music. It’s pretty funny if nothing else, even if the gruesome twosome didn’t intend it to be.

A year after the debut of her gawdawful album Superficial, Montag has just released “Heartbeat,” a new, mediocre-at-best synthesized dance track.

“Touch me,” she sings, or attempts to in vain. “Let me know. Touch me. I don’t need. You enjoy myself. Enjoy myself to the music. Heartbeat.”

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“I put my heart into this,” she tells People. “I want to become a galaxy star.”

Whatever that is, we wouldn’t recommend holding your breath, girlfriend.

As you may have heard (with the ear scars to prove it), Spencer Pratt has some tunes of his own floating around cyberspace. Of the rap variety.

His latest effort, which you can listen to after the jump, isn’t quite as bad as the others. Of course, the bar was set preposterously low, so …

 
Shortly after his chicken wing-themed jam, “Ain’t No Thang,” and his ode to getting paid, “I Get Doe,” comes his latest effort, “Go to Work.”

Ya Boy and Pete G, whoever they are, collaborated with him on it, and likely regret having done so now. Here it is if you can stomach it …

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