Teresa Giudice to Teach Women "How To Have It All"

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Note to THG readers: while it may seem as though the following story is too ludicrous to be real, every word is as depressingly true as Angelina Pivarnick's attempt to rap is hilariously awful. Consider yourself warned.

On January 10, Teresa Giudice will host a seminar in New York City that will "teach women how to have it all," according to a press release.

Teresa Photograph

If plan on paying for advice from Teresa Giudice, go find a toilet, drop bills into it and press flush. It will take less time and be equally worthwhile.

In a blurb hyping the event, scheduled for the Learning Annex in midtown Manhattan, Giudice is described as a "hero to modern women” who manages to “make time to make homemade meals” despite her schedule.

We repeat: we are NOT making this up.

It will cost people who seriously need to re-evaluate their lives fans $44.95 to attend.

“Whether you want to get on a reality TV show, write a book, start and run a business, change careers, this inspiring evening with a woman who has 377,000 online followers will get you going in the right direction,” the blurb reads. “Teresa will talk about marketing yourself, dealing with difficult people, working with the press, and she will share juicy details about what goes on behind the scenes of the Real Housewives of New Jersey.”

In news that some may consider relevant to this "hero," Teresa recently got into a blowout with her brother, is millions of dollars in debt and stands accused of hiding assets from the government.

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Dayna, Dorothy and Heather, I love your comments and could not agree more. I personally never had the desire to be bankrupt, loud-mouthed, table-flinging,whining attention whore with a messed-up hairline, a litter of ugly children and a habitual drunkard for a husband who looks like a sawed-off fire hydrant. They're the skid marks in the underwear of society.

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Hey, THG! This has me thinking that I would LOVE to read a Real Housewives of Beverly Hills recap, written by the same THG intern that wrote the New Jersey Housewives recaps. They were always the funniest and I would look forward to reading them more than watching the show. Plus, the BHs Housewives are bat $!*# crazy and it's awesome!! Just a suggestion....

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Awesome! Every woman wants to know how to be an annoying, loud mouthed Italian from New Jersey with a blubbering husband, four obnoxious and spoiled daughters, a tacky home and absolutely no money! Where do I sign up?

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It's easy. Just do like she did...buy a lot of stuff by charging it all on your credit cards, take out giant loans then file bankruptcy. There! See how easy that is!

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Just to be clear, will she just be teaching women how to spend millions of dollars they don't have? Or will she also be instructing women on how to flip tables, spew profanities, start fights, and generally act like half-witted, self-absorbed, low class idiots? There's so much to learn, yet so little time! A hero indeed!

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this is so fucking ridunkulous, that it has to be absolutely true. Maybe she should follow her own advice.

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