Welcome to The Hollywood Gossip's Week in Review, where our staff members recap the past seven days in entertainment and celeb news, rumors and gossip.
Charlie Sheen has outdone even himself with this one.
- Charlie Sheen drunk and naked with a hooker in a hotel closet? Standard.
- Capri Anderson says he owes her $12,000 for the night. Also standard.
- Rehab is, like, so expensive for Lindsay Lohan. PETA offered to help.
- Rihanna said Chris Brown attacking her served as a wake-up call of sorts.
- Speaking of domestic violence, meet Teen Mom star Amber Portwood!
- Kate Gosselin's nanny peaced out. Wonder what took her so long.
- America's Got Talent's Joe Finley claims someone killed his wife.
- Garry Sun said Tila Tequila kidnapped his girlfriend or something.
- Supermodel Jessica White was arrested after a barroom brawl.
- Jennifer Mee (Hiccup Girl) apparently murdered someone.
Finally, some closure in the case of Anna Nicole Smith (1967-2007).
- Howard K. Stern was convicted of contributing to Anna Nicole Smith's death.
- Mel Gibson was convicted of nothing, but some feel he should apologize.
- Rachel Uchitel says she's a normal girl. Normal professional mistress?
- Another Tiger Woods mistress, Loredana Jolie, says he's a sexual freak.
- Taylor Momsen celebrated Halloween (or just a typical Tuesday for her).
- Audrina Patridge was shockingly sent home on Dancing With the Stars.
- Her mom, Lynn, had too much wine and let America hear about it.
- That rant was up there with the latest from Joy Behar - sober!
- Or this effort from the great Teresa Giudice. She's insane.
- Justin Bieber is single! Hit him up with your digits, ladies!
- Sarah Palin apparently lacks gravitas.
- The Game? He just lacks intelligence.
- David Arquette cries after sex now.
Congratulations to Mr. and Mrs. Brand!
- Katy Perry and Russell Brand made it official, marrying in India!
- Jenna Von Oy is married now too. To Brad Bratcher. Go Six!
- Are Kim Kardashian and Miles Austin giving it another shot?
- Are Taylor Swift and Jake Gyllenhaal an item? They look it!
- Did Justin Timberlake cheat on Jessica Biel with Olivia Munn?
- Gossip Girl stars Blake Lively and Penn Badgley broke up.
- So did Kourtney and Scott. Or they got married. Not sure.
- Shia LaBeouf and Carey Mulligan broke up recently too.
- Miley Cyrus' parents have filed for divorce. So sad.
- Kim Zolciak may be pregnant ... but there's an odd twist.
- Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon confirmed she's pregnant!
- Matt Damon welcomed his fourth daughter!
- Celine Dion welcomed her twin sons!