THG Week in Review: October 16-22

Welcome to The Hollywood Gossip's Week in Review, where our staff recaps the past seven days in entertainment and celebrity news, rumors and gossip.

Follow THG on Twitter and Facebook for 24/7/365 coverage. Right now, let's look back at the stars, stories and scandals that made headlines this week ...

Note to bullies and hecklers: If Justin Bieber assaults you, you'll know it.

• Justin Bieber is under investigation for an alleged laser tag assault.
• Taylor Swift sings about John Mayer in a new song. Not flatteringly!
• Lindsay Lohan is due in court any minute and may be returning to jail.
• Willow Smith showed how she can "Whip Her Hair" back and forth.
• Kanye West discussed Grammys, suicide and banned album covers.
• Jon Gosselin tried to turn over a new leaf with a Twitter mea culpa.
• You won't believe this explanation for Christina Aguilera's divorce.
• Mel Gibson's firing from The Hangover 2 sparked cries of hypocrisy.
• A risque Glee photo shoot in GQ was likened to pedophilia by critics.
• Juan Williams' firing over remarks about Islam was also a hot topic.

Hip-hop's second coming isn't coming ... yet, anyway.

• DWTS favorite Brandy says she's been sexless for years. Six!
• Man, Ava Sambora is just so white trash beautiful at age 13.
• Rumors of a pregnant Beyonce surfaced again ... prematurely.
• Also a false report? This one about Angelina Jolie and drugs.
• Angela Dorian, former POTY, may have tried to kill someone.
• Teneal Goyco was hired to play Tiger Woods in a fake sex tape.
• Anna Chapman went from deported spy to Maxim cover girl.
• Jersey Shore called it a season. JWoww called off Playboy.
• Docs who helped Octomom conceive may be reprimanded.
• Speaking of scary pregnancies, take it away, Kristen Stewart!
• So many Teen Mom crises, so little time.
• Randy and Evi Quaid are wanted. Really.

Two Lakers players getting engaged to celebs in one week!

• Maria Sharapova got engaged to baller Sasha Vujacic!
• So did Monica to Shannon Brown, Sasha's teammate!
• Janet Jackson might be engaged to Wissam Al Mana.
• Reese Witherspoon and Jim Toth? Same deal. Unclear.
• Kim K and Kanye were seen kanoodling like a kouple.
• Brahim Rachiki may be Madonna's latest younger man.
• Kate Hudson and Matt Bellamy are totally an item now.
• Camilla Rosestrand and Prince Harry? Not quite sure.
• Colin Farrell and Alicja Bachleda have called it quits.
• So have RHOC star Vicki Gunvalson and her husband.