Randy and Evi Quaid, who were arrested in Canada last week after border security realized the pair was wanted in California for missing a court date, are free.
Why? Because she informed their immigration board that she is a Canadian citizen. Naturally! She was born in Vermont, but... this is Evi Quaid, so who knows.
Now free to roam the Great White North, the Quaids say they are seeking refuge status north of the border because they FEAR FOR THEIR LIVES IN THE U.S.
Evi Quaid may not know where she is right now, but she's happy.
Randy, who was born in Texas, still must meet with the Immigration and Refugee Board to determine whether he'll be allowed to lawfully stay in Canada.
In the meantime, he posted $1 million bond to keep them out of custody in Santa Barbara, Ca., pending their appearance at a November 2 hearing there.
The Quaids faces felony vandalism charges for allegedly squatting in - and doing significant damage to - a Montecito home they used to own. Obviously.As long as they can avoid jail, and Canada lets them stay for some reason, don't expect Randy and Evi Quaid to be setting foot in America anytime soon.
"I just want a place that I can work and enjoy my life and not feel that someone is following me around and trying to steal from me," Randy told CTV.
Everyone has the same sense of humor as me," added Evi. "[Canada is] big and beautiful, just like my husband." Aww. Brings a tear to a crazy eye.
After the Royal Canadian Mounted Police caught up with them last week, the increasingly hilarious Quaids let loose probably their best excuse yet:
"We are requesting asylum from Hollywood star whackers," they said, claiming Heath Ledger and David Carradine were murdered and Randy is next.
As for how Evi Quaid is a Canadian citizen, authorities say the crazy one's father was a "Canadian FBI agent." Incredibly, this seems to hold water.
The FBI is a U.S. entity, but the Canada Border Services Agency says Evi actually is a Canadian citizen by virtue of her father being born there.
Enjoy them, Canada. We certainly have, but it's time to the love. And court costs.