Heidi Montag Massages Fake Boobs, Gives Plastic Sugery Advice

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Yesterday morning, Heidi Montag spent a few minutes feeling herself up. Why? Because that's how women with fake boobs have to roll, she Tweeted:

"Giving my self a soft tissue breast massage. Ladies, we have to keep those implants soft."

Just Heidi

Hours before she offered this insightful advice, Montag wrote about pain caused by another one of her 12 - yes, 12! - plastic surgery procedures.

"Warning: to anyone who is thinking about getting their ears pinned, I learned after the fact it is the most painful surgery a person can get."

THG warning to anyone thinking about getting their ears pinned: don't do it. Seek treatment for mental health issues instead.

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The only way Heidi Montag can have sex these days is by giving herself a soft tissue breast massage! LOL