David and Victoria Beckham are slamming recent reports that claim the British soccer god cheated on his Spice Girl spouse with a $10,000-a-night prostitute.
Who do people think he is, Wayne Rooney?
A rep for the two says the In Touch allegations - which include not only a threesome, but unprotected sex with at least one prostitute - are patently false.
Rest assured, David Beckham says: He only does this with Victoria.
The pair's rep says the prostitution claim "is completely untrue and totally ridiculous" and moreover, "the magazine was clearly told before publication."
"Sadly we live in a world where a magazine can print lies and believe they can get away with it ... We are taking legal action against the magazine."
Oh, it is so ON, In Touch.
The rep assures us that the parents of three will definitely "fight this. They're fed up with people trying to tear them apart. Their love is strong."