Dancing With the Stars Season Premiere: Mama Told Her Not to Come!

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Sarah Palin should've been there.

When Bristol Palin took the stage on the season premiere of Dancing With the Stars in a flight attendant’s uniform that she promptly tore off during the opening moments of Monday's show to cha cha cha in a provocative red dress underneath?

Speechless. Just incredible stuff.

Mark Ballas and Bristol Palin

Bristol Palin makes American proud. [Photo: ABC]

Her first dance, fittingly set to “Mama Told Me (Not to Come),” was like a moving tribute to the life of Bristol Palin, ambassador for teen pregnancy awareness.

Mama told her not to come. Then mama decided to pull a no-show at the last minute rather than be associated with this. Probably not the worst decision.

Meanwhile, Len Goodman had the night's best quote when he told Mike Sorrentino from Jersey Shore the following: "I'm in an awkward situation, Situation."

Awesome. While recognizing Mike's athletic potential, the judges were not particularly impressed with his initial performance, landing him in a tie for last place.

Elsewhere, David Hasselhoff busted out the buoy, Audrina Patridge looked like a seven-year-old beauty pageant contestant and Brandy and Jennifer Grey ruled.

Follow the jump for last night's Dancing With the Stars scores ...

IN DANGER

The Situation and Karina Smirnoff: 15
Margaret Cho and Louis Van Amstel: 15
David Hasselhoff and Kym Johnson: 15
Michael Bolton and Chelsie Hightower: 16

Situation and Karina Smirnoff

The Situation and Karina sashay into last. [Photo: ABC]

MIDDLE OF THE ROAD

Bristol Palin and Mark Ballas: 18
Florence Henderson and Corky Ballas: 18
Kurt Warner and Anna Trebunskaya: 19
Audrina Patridge and Tony Dovolani: 19

THE BEST

Rick Fox and Cheryl Burke: 22
Kyle Massey and Lacey Schwimmer: 23
Brandy and Maksim Chmerkovskiy: 23
Jennifer Grey and Derek Hough: 24

Well? What was your favorite part of the premiere? Who's your favorite pair, and who do you think will go home tonight? Comment below, and tell us who you want to win:

 

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Bristol would be hot if she didn't have the entire chipmunk thing going on. Don Reese - Where are you from? Utah? 1942? Sex is all over the television and has been for quite some time. Since you can't stand to have your children watch this garbage then maybe you should just turn off the TV and play a board game or whatever they did in 1942 to pass time.

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Why are some of the costumes the women wear so downright trashy looking? I am embarassed for my children. We are a Christian home and the lewd attire the women wear are disguiting.

Dancing with the Stars Quotes

We should have started dancing with one arm waaay before.

Cristian de la Fuente [following his injury, trip to the hospital and subsequent stellar performance]

I am not the best dancer, and I have not been the best dancer from the beginning. I am happy we made it this far.

Cristian de la Fuente
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