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According to this week’s issue of Life & Style, there’s breaking Kardashian baby news. But you don’t need to shell out a dime to learn any of it. THG is about to deliver the story for free:

NO ONE IS PREGNANT!

Truly worthy of a cover story, we know.

Why is Demi Moore okay with the Ashton Kutcher cheating scandal, as this cover claims? Probably because it isn’t true.

Khloe Kardashian does say that she and Lamar Odom are having a lot of sex, though, in case you were curious.

“We’ve been working at it all year,” Khloe tells the magazine. “Getting pregnant is much harder than we thought – but practicing making babies is amazing!”