Welcome to The Hollywood Gossip's Week in Review, where we look back on the top stories of the last seven days in celebrity news, gossip and rumors.
- Michael Douglas was diagnosed with cancer. Get well soon, MD.
- Phillip Markoff, the Craigslist killer, took his own life in jail.
- In a stunner, Robert Pattinson was named Sexiest Man Alive.
- Justin Bieber made like The Beatles, may work with Kanye.
- Lindsay Lohan may end up being released from rehab early.
- Taylor Momsen looks like a hooker, says Rihanna's a poser.
- Whoops: Jennifer Aniston dropped the R-bomb on TV.
- Looks like Spencer and Heidi really are getting a divorce.
Here's wishing Michael Douglas a speedy recovery.
- Antwaun Cook admits affair with, defends Fantasia.
- Britney Spears is Gleeking out pretty hard core.
- Violet Kowal says Mel Gibson wanted her to disappear.
- The stars of True Blood got bloody and naked. As usual.
- Blaming financial woes on fame, Teresa Giudice is an idiot.
- Was Simon Monjack sleeping with Brittany Murphy's mom?
- Farrah Abraham opened up about her Teen Mom tragedy.
- Chris Lambton was offered, but may pass on The Bachelor.
Yeah. Who knows.
- Tila Tequila was attacked at a concert. The details of the incident are disturbing, but atypically for Tila controversies, actually accurate. Mostly.
- Kim Kardashian opened up about sex tapes, feuded with Paris Hilton, and acted like a complete hypocrite about her weight and Playboy spread.
- Laurence Fishburne is apparently done with Montana Fishburne. She sure isn't done with her porn career, though. Or with posing nearly naked.
- Dr. Laura Schlessinger will be leaving radio after a racial flap. Not to worry, though. Sarah Palin has her back. And no grasp of the Constitution.
- Meanwhile, Jon Stewart wonders if Fox News isn't really a terrorist command center. Do we really know? You never can tell with these people ...
The most controversial of this week's new couples.
- Couples watch: Jesse James and Kat Von D are an item; Abby Elliott and Fred Armisen are dating; John Sala is dating Vienna Girardi for some reason; Jason Toohey is Jenny McCarthy's new man; Kristin Cavallari and Doug Reinhardt may be together; Jamie Lynn Spears and Casey Aldridge are back on!
- It's over: Marilyn Manson and Evan Rachel Wood called off their engagement again; Patti Stanger and Andy Friedman ended theirs as well.
- Baby news: Miranda Kerr is pregnant; Samantha Harris is expecting #2; Jesse Csincsak is engaged and having a baby with Ann Lueders; Neil Patrick Harris and David Burtka are having twins - a boy and a girl - via surrogate!
- Wedding Bells: Hilary Duff and Mike Comrie tied the knot. Congratulations!
- R.I.P.: Dr. Frank Ryan, plastic surgeon to the stars.