Pimped: Dannielynn Discussed in Detail By Larry Birkhead

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If the mother of your daughter died from a drug problem many people attributed to her life in the spotlight, would you take every opportunity to pose said child in front of the paparazzi and on magazine covers?

No? Then you're name is not Larry Birkhead.

The sorry excuse for a human being invited tabloid photographers to daughter Dannielynn's birthday party last year, which would have been his most disgraceful act as a parent to date... except that he actually did the same to Anna Nicole Smith's grave the year before. Yes, her grave.

Not as Cute as It Seems

Now, Birkhead has cashed in on his daughter again, revealing pieces of information about Dannielynn to E! News because... he's getting paid piles of money for it? He feels a responsibility to the public to share secrets about an innocent four-year old? Form your own opinions on this despicable man below, as you read excerpts from his interview:

On missing Smith: "I know what I had with Anna, and I have a 38-pound reminder walking around my house every day."

On how awesome of a father he is: "[Dannielynn is] with me every single day. I spend tons of time with her. That is one of my biggest accomplishments. She knows the happiness she gets at home and from the people around her."

On Anna's drug problem: "If she stopped taking methadone she could have died, the baby could have died."

On similarities between Dannielynn  and Anna Nicole: "She already has motherly like instincts. She's playing with her mom's dolls."

Read the full interview with E! now.

UPDATE: A disclaimer ...

Larry Birkhead is not a pimp in the literal sense that he manages a harem of prostitutes. He is merely a whore, figuratively, for the celebrity gossip industry, and likely making serious bank off his young daughter via features such as this. Thank you.

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Larry Birkhead Quotes

She has a boyfriend. Count from Seasame Street.

Larry Birkhead [on his daughter]

I think about life in a different way. I had kidney stones and was in the hospital for a week in July. I was freaking out thinking, If something happens to me, Dannielynn is by herself. I'm all this little one has left.

Larry Birkhead