"I was irresponsible. And I'm not making excuses." - Lindsay Lohan
Her youth, her absent father and her own poor choice of role models led the troubled star astray, the actress admits in a Vanity Fair interview last month.
In the interview, conducted shortly before she was thrown into jail and rehab, she says it's "scary and sad" that tabloids used to be her sole news source.
"I would look up to those girls, [Britney Spears] and whatever. 'd be like, I want to be like that. I see where that's gotten me now and I don't like it."
Not that she finds her past reputation entirely deserved.
"If I were the alcoholic everyone says I am," she says, "then putting a [SCRAM] bracelet on would have ended me up in detox, in the emergency room ... because I would have had to come down from all the things that people say I am taking and my dad says I'm taking – so that says something, because I was fine."
Except for tampering with it twice ... minor details!As for drug use, "I've never abused prescription drugs. I never have – never in my life. I have no desire to. That's not who I am," Lindsay Lohan says.
"I've admitted to the things that I've done – to, you know, dabbling in certain things and trying things 'cause I was young and curious and thought it was like, okay, 'cause other people were doing it and other people put it in front of me."
"I see what happened in my life because of it."
Going to L.A. for her career in her teens, Lohan says, "These were my college years, but in the public eye. I was irresponsible. I was experimenting. I was doing things that people do 10 times more of when they're in college."
"I didn't have any structure. In the beginning, I had structure, and then I lost all the structure in my life. I think a lot of it was because when I was doing my first slew of movies, it was very go-go, and I had a lot of responsibility."
In what is actually a reasonable take on this, she says: "I think the second I didn't have [structure] anymore – I was 18, 19 – with a ton of money."
Largely at fault for her rocky foundation? All the enablers and leeches, sure. But most of all, that deadbeat jackass dad of hers, Michael Lohan.
"I think if anyone should be looked at medically it's him. He has such a big chemical imbalance at this point. The worst part of it is you turn around and you see your dad crying and normally you'd be, like, happy that your father's there."
"But then he has to go and do an interview right after."
Pretty much. Moving forward, she says, "I just want my career back. I know that I'm a damn good actress, and it's been my passion since I was a child, and I know that when I care about something, I put 100 percent and more into it."
"I want the respect that I had when I was doing great movies. If that takes not going out to a club at night, then so be it. It's not fun anyway. I don't care."
Sure. What do you think? Can she stay clean?