Jersey Shore Recap: You're a Drunk Skank With No Job

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Last night's Jersey Shore paled in comparison to last week's for the simple fact that the tired act that is Ronnie and Sammi overshadowed everything else.

Don't get us wrong, there were plenty of absurd scenes and Jersey Shore quotes to make it worth our while, but these two need to get their act together.

If Sammi weren't so painful, maybe we'd be more sympathetic to how Ron treats her. Even her own friends seem to be somewhat on the fence about it.

What should have been the highlight of the week - Snooki and Emilio - took a back seat to played-out drama even their castmates are sick of by now.

How did it all go down in Season 2, Episode 4? THG's got it covered ...

When Snooki called boyfriend Emilio Masella in last week's episode, she and Vinny were up to no good. Now the gorilla juicehead turns the tables. Plus 5.

Guys Suck!

Snooki & Co. to all guys: You're douchebags and we hate you!

Drunk out of his mind, Emilio calls, mistakes JWoww for voicemail, tells Snooks he f*%ked some girl, then says he was kidding. Great joke man. Minus 6.

Snooki: "Guys are douchebags and I hate them all. They don't know how to treat women ... I feel like this is why the lesbian rate is going up in this country." Plus 3.

J-Woww to Emilio: "I will call the cops on you if you call again or I will take the next flight out to f*%kin' New York to beat your ass." She's probably serious. Plus 4.

The anti-Emilio tirade concludes with J-Woww calling him a "drunk skank with no job" (LOL) and Snooki telling out a Home Alone style scream. A tad much. Wash.

Enraged, the girls all break $h!t. Not cool, but we've been there, so Minus only 2. The female empowerment team now turns its attention from Emilio to Ronnie.

Will anyone in the house snitch on Ronnie? Does Sammi have a right to know? Does anyone care? Minus 18 because ... no. But Plus 4 for the use of "motorboat."

Awwww How Sweet

Ronnie and Sammi share a tender moment in between breakups.

We'll say this for Ronnie Magro: He is definitely going all in, cuddling with his lame girl and whispering sweet nothings one minute, dropping c- and f-bombs and flirting with alcohol poisoning the next. No in between. Plus 6.

Ron, in a rare moment of sobriety: "I don't like tests, that's why I didn't go to college... don't test me, 'cause I will fail a majority of the time." Yes you will. Minus 4

Angelina farts in Snooki's face. On television. Minus 3.

The Situation: "You need to on your tip-top game with your GTL to stay FTD to get the girls to DTF in MIA ... say that 5 times fast." Translation, anyone? Plus 9.

Gelato shop gems: Vinny asking if there's a butter face flavor, and this from Pauly D: "She had summer teeth. Some are like this... some are like that." Plus 8.

Snooki and J-Woww write an "anonymous" note to Sammi. On a reality show. Minus 12. They did think far enough ahead to write "breasts" in the note - Snooki and JWoww would say "t!ts" so she'll totally never suspect them - so Plus 5.

TOTAL: -1. SEASON: +62.

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Correct me if I'm wrong but are not these 'women'? 'girls'? whatever they are, bimbos in the making? and what is with the'Situation's (this is a name?!) lip curl? is that supposed to be sexy? atractive. .he looks like he's smelling. .himself. . .
how deep in the brain dead and talentless dung pile did they have to dig to find these 'people' (and I use the term 'people' lightly, believe me. . .

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Hi, does anyone know the name of the song that comes on right after Angelina farts and the girls get back to the house? the lyrics are something like "when you wake up in the morning, who do you think i am" or something like that. thanks!

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they are a bunch of loser and possers who need to get a real life!! fake tans and boobs they are all a bunch of dicks and cunts.. who think they are better than everybody else. the girls are drunks and the guys only think of sticking their little boy pee-pees into other idiot girls. no respect. if they get a sickness only they are to blame. what they are are sad lonely immature twits. they are really sad!!!!

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you need to stay on your tip top game with your GTL (gym, tan, laundry) to stay FTD (fresh to death) to get the girls DTF (down to fuck) in MIA

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What a joke last night...JWWOW & Snooki tring to get Angelina to tell (THEIR) friend Sammi about what Ronnie does behind her back.That should come from the 2 retards not Angelina. They are both chicken sh@* to tell her.I thought they were tough girls ...JWWOW looks like a man in drag and Snooki looks LARGE so if Sammi tries something they can use there big bodies to hold her down...HAHAHA. The Situation & Pauly are still my favorite's. Love the show.

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WGAFFWAOTPDOS! Translation: Who gives a flying f!#* what any of these people do or say!

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Who are these people and why are they relevant.. next

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Thanks KC for the acronym translation. :) I knew GTL but the FTD and DTF.. I was coming up empty. Pretty funny now I know. LOL.

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so did he really cheat on snooki or no. that was not clear, although if it was a joke that was a pretty twisted sense of humor

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GTL-Gym, Tan, Laundry FTD-Fresh to Death DTF-Down to Fu**