Jersey Shore Recap: That's a Big Word!

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"I'm definitely not a saint. If I walked into a church, I'd probably burst into flames to be honest with you ... But I think that I can probably talk my way out of the hole I dug. I mean, how deep is a grave?" - Ronnie Magro

The great thing about this line, one of many great Jersey Shore quotes from last night's episode, is that Ron probably really believed it. Sammi is that pathetic.

Did he succeed? Let's find out in THG's Jersey Shore point-system recap ...

Situation Creepin'

The Situation works his game during an MVP night.

During Gay Pride Week in Miami, JWoww and Snooki were down to celebrate: "Gay Pride, yay!" exclaimed Snooki. Plus 2 for not seriously offending anyone there!

After defending her evening out by saying those guys are not attracted to vagina, Snook dispatched Emilio Masella for good. JWoww clapped, as did we. Plus 7.

The Situation brings home two girls, but had invited two others over earlier. Now it's a 4-on-3 Situation in this MVP night ... with one grenade! Boom! Minus 5.

Vinny plots and Mike executes the plan to isolate two girls, then of the remaining two, "extract the hot one" and "leave the grenade to blow up Ronnie's room all by herself." Pure genius. Plus 8. That's why they are the MVPs of MIA.

Minus 3 for the use of "Smash Room" though. That's just dirty.

Ever useless, Angelina refuses to do the dishes, forcing Sitch to go OFF, then apologize like the softie he is. These two are kind of like brother and sister. Plus 2.

Snooki burns photos of Emilio in effigy. "I paid," she laments of a picture of them at a sushi restaurant. The rest of the gang looks on sympathetically. "Sympathetic," Snooki says. "Word of the day. That's a big word!" Indeed! Plus 4.

Ronne Reads The Letter

Ronnie is thoroughly puzzled by the letter's big words.

Ronnie, after Sammi found the letter: "Right away, I know it's Snooki or Jenni. But then I see the word 'wisely' and I know Snooki doesn't use that kind of vocabulary." Plus 13, for obvious reasons and because JWoww basically called that.

Sam reacts as you'd expect from Sam, interrogating everyone BUT Ron. Man, she is pathetic. Minus 16, since Sammi bugged out just this week - she's never "done."

Ron: "Do you want this or you don't?" Who could resist?! Plus 4.

Naturally, Ronnie calls a girl back home about how he's been doing GT but no S, and says he wants "the Varsity Blues outfit" when he gets back. Douche. Minus 8.

Sammi overhears. They yell at each other. He calls her "bro" at least once. They end it with an official break-up. Forever. It's over. Until next week, of course. Plus 11.

TOTAL: +19. SEASON: +81.

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