Anyone else really, really surprised by this breaking sports news?
A paternity suit filed by the upstanding, totally credible Devon James against Tiger Woods has officially been thrown out, ending her bid for ... who knows.
Tiger's porn star mistress was shown no mercy by a judge this morning, who dismissed her paternity case and request for a DNA test from the golfer.
James claimed Tiger is the baby daddy of her 9-year-old son, Austin T. James, and wanted the judge to force Tiger Woods to submit to a DNA test.
A TIGER TALE: Despite the fact that he probably tapped that, along with dozens of other women, Devon James' paternity claims were a bunch of baloney.
The judge in Manatee County, Fla., had none of this, tossing the case in part because Devon James was MIA, and for other, more significant reasons.
For one, she doesn't even have custody of the kid now. Her mom does. Moreover, her mom says a prior DNA test in 2002 proved another man was the dad.
There you go. Got the time, by any chance, Devon? Looks like 14:59 ...