Only four men remain on The Bachelorette now. Maybe you noticed.
Last night's episode of the reality TV saga was dominated by a Jake and Vienna interview for the ages, making everything else seem boring and irrelevant.
Follow the above link for an entire recap devoted to that nonsense. Below, we give Ali Fedotowsky and crew their due as her quest for love hits Portugal.
Here's THG's patented plus-minus rundown of the episode ...
Ali and Roberto Martinez take pictures of each other, hear music on the street and start dancing right there. SO romantic and NOT AT ALL staged. Minus 4.
They make nice conversation about Roberto's family, the hunk says really nice things to Ali, they kiss and we think he's the favorite, hands down. Plus 8.
Who will The Bachelorette star choose?
Ty and Frank go on the awkward two-on-one date ever. Minus 5, 'cause they just bitch about the format the whole time. You're on The Bachelorette, guys.
Frank lives with his parents. Minus 4, but Ty does him one better by saying he's "tickled" Ali has a plan and a career of her own. Sexist much? Minus 20.
Kirk's date takes place in a big castle, at which he talks about his illness and how it made him reexamine his life. Again with the mold poisoning. Plus 9.
Minus 12, or approximately one point for each use of the word "hometown." Like saying "wrong reasons" ad nauseam, guess they stick to the script.
Fortunately, Chris Lambton not only refers to his town's name (Dennis, Mass.), he knocks it out of the park on his date. Moped skills aside. Plus 13.
Chris and Roberto can do no wrong.
The narrative of Chris' mom's death is a wee bit overblown, but he seems so genuinely sweet about it, how can you not give the guy another Plus 11?
Minus 7 for blurring out Chris' Boston Red Sox shirt.
If you're up on The Bachelorette spoilers, you knew that Ty or Kirk was going home at the rose ceremony, and it was Ty in a bit of a surprise. Plus 5.
Again, see the link above for the full rundown, but for all her flaws, sad Vienna Girardi came off 100 times better than pompous Jake Pavelka. Wash.
How funny was next week's preview, considering how much Frank whines about not getting time with Ali, the alleged girl of his dreams?! Minus 15.
TOTAL: -9. SEASON: +130.
Roses: Chris, Roberto, Frank and Kirk.