by Free Britney at

We swear we're not making this up.

In what would likely rival Real Housewives star LuAnn de Lesseps for worst musical offering of the year, Kate Gosselin is looking to add singer to her resume!

The reality star is reportedly itching to deliver a Christmas album chock full of religious-y tunes - with her eight adorable kids on backing vocals no less.

"Kate is pitching a CD of holiday songs sung by herself and her kids," a record exec says. "She sees herself as a modern day Maria from The Sound of Music."

LOL. Wasn't Maria really nice, though?

Another Wannabe Singer

EARS WILL BLEED: Kate Gosselin wants to break into the music biz. Wonder what the kids' psychiatrist will say about that. [Photo: PacificCoastNewsOnline.com]

"Don't be fooled," a friend of Kate's adds. "Kate sees herself as a brand. She knows her 15 minutes are not going to last forever and wants to make the most of it."

"After all, it's Kate that's putting the food on the table for all those children."

Nice dig at Jon Gosselin there, friend.

Reality TV star twice over, View guest host, author, dancer, mother of eight and now singer? Where does she find the time ... to get that bad Botox?

Shockingly, Kate has yet to score a coveted record deal, but we wouldn't bet against her. As long as her singing's better than her dancing, that is.

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by Hilton Hater at

Dean McDermott is only famous because he's married to Tori Spelling and the couple exploits its cute children on a nauseating, utterly contrived reality show. It's rather disgusting.

Still, we wish no physical harm on McDermott, which is why we hope he recovers quickly from this week's dirt bike accident. As of this writing, he's in the intensive care unit of a California hospital with a punctured and collapsed lung.

"He's in a lot of pain," Spelling said, adding that her husband has finally concluded his adventurous hobby isn't worth such consequences. "He's taking this as a sign and realizing family is too important to risk his life."

Dean McDermott Picture

McDermott was taken to a Los Angeles hospital after crashing on Tuesday. He was bleeding severly at the scene, but was fortunately able to Tweet:

Thanks for the well wishes. A collapsed lung is no fun, and is a lengthy heal. Feeling pretty bad today. Day 2 is always the worst.

With Dean injured, we'll refrain from asking the obvious question here: Who on earth is following Dean McDermott on Twitter?!?!?

Because Tori and her man had often argued about his dirt biking riding, she relayed the exchanged they shared soon after she arrived by his hospital bed:

"When I first saw him he just softly said 'I'm so sorry.'" I just held his hand and cried. That's when he said, 'I'll never do this again. You and the kids mean everything to me.' "

The married pair has two kids: Liam 3; and Stella, 2.

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by Hilton Hater at

She has two Ks in her name and two Ds in her chest.

Therefore, it's only appropriate for there to now be twice the Kim Kardashian in New York City.

Kim and a Reporter

The professional celebrity posed alongside her fake doppleganger in Madame Tussauds today, following her blog entry that hyped the honor of receiving a wax statue in the iconic museum.

Kim says the feeling of standing next to yourself is "surreal."

We say it's incredible how the wax figure looks more life-like than Kardashian herself. There's little doubt it has more personality.

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by Hilton Hater at

Sit down, female readers. Stop operating heavy machinery. We have troubling news:

Justin Bieber may have a girlfriend. We have reason to believe the shaggy-haired stud is back together with Caitlin Beadles. Here's why:

In mid-June, we know Bieber was in the Bahamas, Tweeting photos of himself and Kim Kardashian. On June 6, meanwhile, Beadles Tweeted the following: Bahamas here I come!!!! :)

A few days later, she took it a step further with: What happens in the Bahamas stays in the Bahamas! :P

Best Weding Gift Ever

Elsewhere, the above tabloid cover hints at a "secret girlfriend" for Bieber.

Add all this up and do you  get a definitive relationship? Of course not. But you might get a strong enough possibility for millions of women around the globe to hit the bottle tonight.

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by Free Britney at

Mel Gibson told the mother of his child, Oksana Grigorieva, that she looks like "a f*king pig in heat and if you get raped by a pack of ni**ers it will be your fault."

Seriously. He was caught on tape.

Derek Lowe Mug Shot

The always upstanding actor was secretly recorded by Oksana in the midst of their breakup and custody battle. The words "whore" and "c**t" were also used.

Sickening stuff, honestly.

The tapes were submitted by Oksana Grigorieva to the judge in the custody battle over their baby daughter, which has grown increasingly contentious lately.

Mel Gibson: Even more of a disgrace than thought!

They were recorded prior to May, when Mel and Oksana reached a custody deal - one that since fell apart, with her accusing him of being a deadbeat dad.

Oksana, who says she has incendiary emails she kept from Gibson, has also accused Mel of punching her in the face during a heated January altercation.

We'd like to believe that it's more complicated than this, that there are two sides to the story, that there's a chance Gibson is innocent of any wrongdoing.

We're not inclined to give him the benefit of the doubt, however.

After all, this disgraceful human being once said, after being busted for DUI, "f**king Jews ... The Jews are responsible for all the wars in the world."

His description of Oksana Grigorieva above? Par for course for pure scum.

Follow the jump for more choice excerpts from Mel's racist rant ...

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by Free Britney at

They say silence is golden. In this case, think Fort Knox golden.

We reported yesterday evening that the Tiger Woods divorce is final, or nearly final, and that his estranged wife Elin could receive a $750 million settlement.

Elin Nordegren Smiles

Today, additional sources say that while nothing has been officially filed, lawyers for both sides are close to reaching an agreement for "about $700 million."

That mammoth sum, which entails Elin Woods keep all details of Tiger's life and cheating scandal confidential, has grown as negotiations have progressed.

Elin has balked at the confidentiality clause, and thus driven up the price, not because she has a strong desire to tell all, but because it's a bargaining chip.

Smart woman.

HARD BARGAIN: Elin Woods sure is driving one.

While Tiges really does not want his wife to give any interviews or write a book about their life together, child custody has also been a contentious issue.

"Elin does not want Tiger to have female friends around when he has the children," a source tells People magazine. "She will not give in to anything less."

As far as who gets the kids when, Tiger has asked for one weekend a month, but with frequent golf travel, some flexibility may be required from both.

Instead of taking one weekend a month, he could have Sam and Charlie for a long stretch, then not again for a few months, dependent on his schedule.

For her part, Elin is tired of the media scrutiny and wants to relocate to Sweden, where she hails from and eventually wants the children to be educated.

She has an estate in the Stockholm archipelago complete with a beach, dock, sauna and four separate houses, near family and longtime school friends.

If Tiger agrees to that, she will also likely keep a second home in Jupiter, Fla., convenient to Woods's nearly completed $80 million Jupiter Island estate.

 

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by Hilton Hater at

Ferris Bueller's Day Off feels a lot less funny all of a sudden.

Jeffrey Jones, the actor best known for playing Principal Ed Rooney in that classic comedy, was arrested last week on a felony charge after he failed to update his registration as a sex offender.

Yes, the man that tried to chase down Matthew Broderick's character in that 1986 movie pleaded no contest to having a 14-year old boy pose seductively for him in 2003. As a result, he was forced to register, visit a counselor and complete five years' probation.

On June 23, Jones was apprehended after he did not renew his California registration within the five days of his previous birthday. It's the second time the troubled actor has faced an arrest after his initial charges.

He failed to inform authorities of a move in 2004.

Can we put this guy behind bars now please?!?

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by Hilton Hater at

Despite having a baby girl just over a month ago, Teresa Giudice tells the latest issue of In Touch Weekly she's never been happier with her body.

Of course, the breast enhancement surgery she underwent last year helps a great deal with that confidence. Teresa told the tabloid:

“I just got them done last summer, so this is my first time wearing a bikini and I have to say, this is the happiest I have ever been with my body. I feel like I have the whole package!”

Teresa Bikini Body

What else went into this package, aside from silicone? The Real Housewives of New Jersey star dished on a number of weight-related topics:

How much does she weigh? I hardly ever weigh myself, but I do fit back into most of the clothes I wore before I had Audriana. I think I’m a 27 jean size and size 4 in dresses.

Does she diet? I’m never on a diet. I always eat what I want. When I was pregnant, I had to eat anything that was in front of my face. It’s an Italian thing — they say if you see something and don’t eat it, your baby will get a birthmark!

What's her favorite body part? I love my new boobies, but if I had to pick between an ass or boobs, I’d have to say my ass is more important to me. I’m proud of my bubble butt!

Got all that, readers? Now, you tell us: Would you hit this?

 

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by Free Britney at

As their tumultuous and utterly predictable split continues to play out in public, Jake Pavelka and Vienna Girardi will discuss it Monday on The Bachelorette.

The duo sat down with their former host-pimp Chris Harrison to talk about the split for the July 5 segment, and let's just say it's as ugly as it is contrived.

A sneak peek of the interview reveals no big Bachelorette spoilers - just dueling accusations and blaming one another for the demise of a fake relationship.

Asked why they made the breakup so public, Vienna said: "Either way, our relationship had been public. No matter how we broke up, this had to happen."

Right. There was no other option.

A Vienna and Jake Pic

"The world was going to want to know," she said. "I know Jake and I knew as soon as we broke up he was going to run to a media outlet and tell his side. I just wanted to make sure I had a voice also. I haven't had a voice this entire time."

Jake responds ... well, presumably. The clip we have here doesn't show that part, but he reportedly gets so pissed at her that makes a fist at Vienna at one point.

Girardi's accusations are consistent with what she's been saying all along, though - that he's a fame whore who misled her. Dude doesn't even put out!

There's also the rumor that Jake isn't into girls, but we'll leave that alone for now. Follow the jump for a sneak preview of the couple on The Bachelorette ...

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by Free Britney at

Chris Brown defenders are not gonna like this one bit.

The singer received a lot of attention, both good and bad, for his tearful tribute to MJ at the BET Awards Sunday. As he sang "Man in the Mirror," Chris broke down.

Chris Brown BALLING

The display of Brown channeling Michael Jackson and the lyrics hitting close to home united fans in support. Queen Latifah openly said Brown deserves forgiveness.

Yet an insider tells Us Weekly today that it was fake.

CROCODILE TEARS? The sincerity of Chris Brown's display is debatable.

Before he took the stage, a backstage source says one of Brown's bodyguards gave the singer tear-inducing eye drops: "He rubbed it in and he started crying."

Brown's rep denies it, telling Us that Brown simply "was moved by the opportunity to pay tribute to his idol." But the witness says Brown definitely used drops.

We may never know for sure, but it's not the biggest stretch in the world. Was Brown's tribute a blatant ploy for positive PR or a sincerely moving homage?

You tell us: Chris Brown's BET Awards performance was ...

 

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