Michael Lohan and Kate Major: It's Probably Over

Under fire for attacking his fiancee, loser Michael Lohan declared when confronted by cameras yesterday that his engagement to Kate Major is officially dead.

Marrying someone you are legally required to stay at least 100 yards away from and are not allowed to contact even via a third party can be difficult.

The deadbeat father of Lindsay was accused of assaulting Major, a former Star reporter and assistant to his train wreck daughter, earlier in the week.

That will put a damper on an engagement in a hurry.

YOU SUCK, MIKE! The elder Lohan's latest fiancee, who agreed to marry him for unknown reasons, lasted three whole months before filing a criminal complaint.

Lohan's lawyer, meanwhile, is scoffing at allegations that he physically attacked and threatened to kill Kate, saying that her claims don't add up.

If he really did what she said, Lisa Bloom argues why was he charged with a petty offense? Michael will face a second degree harassment charge.

"Most often, second degree harassment violations are resolved by the payment of a fine of up to $250," Bloom told TMZ in a statement.

"Second degree harassment is the lowest level charge that can be brought in connection with an alleged domestic violence incident."

Bloom says the charge is used "when there are no substantial physical injuries alleged, which is the case here" and Michael is "100% innocent."

Basically, don't expect to see him in jail with Lindsay.