Old habits die hard. Especially when the producers of The Hills keep recycling them and you have zero self respect. Justin-Bobby and Audrina Patridge, everyone!
Yup, last night's Hills marked the return of He Who Must Not Be Named and Does Not Shower. It also marked another week of the same Kristin and Brody drama.
To say the show is growing stale and running out of compelling characters is an understatement. Still, here's THG's rundown of The Hills, plus-minus style:
Kristin and Stacie decide to go out and meet boys to get Kristin's mind off of Brody. Not surprisingly, they find themselves disappointed by the selection. Minus 1.
Brody tells McKaela there's nothing going on with Kristin Cavallari and she needs to deal. Plus 3 for poor, sweet, naive, out-of-town McKaela actually buying it.
Brody Jenner and Kristin Cavallari: "Nothing going on."
McKaela meets up with L to talk about the "Kristin situation" and working at Smashbox Cosmetics. Yup, we've reached the point of Lo-McKaela story lines. Minus 16.
Brody Jenner in a nutshell: He likes Kristin; He likes being a player; He brings in new girls to prove they're just friends, then pursues her again. Repeat. Game. Plus 20.
Minus 8, though, because he and Avril Lavigne are together in real life, making it impossible to take any of what we're watching seriously (it was hard enough).
Poor, faithful Ryan Cabrera is, like, so devoted to Audrina, even though there's zero evidence of chemistry between them, and we know they break up. Minus 7.
Audrina Patridge is TOTALLY CAUGHT OFF GUARD by Justin-Bobby! Minus 20 because it's Justin-Bobby, but Plus 29 for such blatantly obvious contrived nonsense.
The producers told me I'd run into ... er, fancy seeing you here!
Ostensibly, the reunion happened when Audzo checked out the band Purple Melon at the Viper Room, where J-Bobby's band is also performing. He's in a band? Plus 7.
Justin being a drummer without us knowing for years? Minus 3. Expecting us to believe Audrina just happened to show up? Minus 4. Him being pretty good? Plus 9.
She omits mention of seeing Justin when she recounts the night to Ryan. Minus 5. Then the next evening (when Cabrera is out of town), they meet up again. Sigh.
Just FYI, MTV expects us to buy this after this loser strung her along for 2-3 seasons, then supposedly dated Kristin, then vanished, then resurfaced. Minus 15.
A final note on the unexplained absence of Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag, who split up over the weekend: It sucks. Life without Speidi is not worth living. Minus 15.
TOTAL: -26. SEASON: +16. Some more images from last night: