The Bachelorette Recap: Kasey Gets Kreepy

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What might have been a tame episode of The Bachelorette soon became surprisingly memorable as Kasey made a complete fool of himself - many times over.

He certainly didn't take any of the conventional routes - drunkenness, jackassery, climbing mountains Rated R style - either. No, Kasey was a unique kalamity.

How did Ali Fedotowsky respond to his increasingly odd overtures? Who received roses at the end of the night and which two guys' dreams were krushed forever?

THG breaks down all the action below in its plus-minus index ...

Chris Harrison informs the guys they are headed around the world, starting in New York City. The Bachelorette's budget must really be increasing lately. Plus 4.

Ali Fedotowsky gets an InStyle makeover. Minus only 1, because while complete cross-promotional filler, this did provide us gorgeous shots of Ali Fedotowsky.

Kasey gets a one-on-one date and talks to the cameras about how Ali is a beautiful butterfly, "ready and open for love." It only gets weirder from there. Minus 2.

Kasey Kiss

KRAZY TRAIN: Kasey puts the unintentionally hilarious moves on Ali. 

Minus 37, one point for each time he said he's there to "protect and guard" her heart. 1. Who even talks like that? 2. This will make a fun drinking game next week!

During their private date in the museum, Kasey gets all intense about their love and continues the most god-awful singing imaginable. Plus 10 for Ali's stunned look.

Plus 13 more for Ali calling him out on this crap. She says he's not himself. Whether that's true or not, he's not impressing her and at least she didn't placate him.

How can he not get a rose and still stick around for the rose ceremony, though? Isn't the whole point that it's make or break? Minus 4 for making up rules on the fly.

Roberto, Jesse, Craig, Kirk, Jonathan, Frank and Ty head to Times Square for a VIP Broadway experience and are forced to pretend they really like theater. Plus 8.

Lauding Roberto's courage and truth, the producer chooses him for a date with Ali, then says they're going to be in The Lion King. Minus 5. A nice dinner would do.

Plus 11 for the gratuitous, half-nude shots of Ali and Roberto Martinez, especially since the other suckers have to sit and watch a play and Roberto workin' it.

In a driving rain, Ali reassures Frank about her feelings for him and they make out. Frank says he wants whatever she has. Barf, but Minus only 3 since we like Frank.

A-Fed Pic

BIG LEAGUER: Roberto rose to the occasion on Broadway's biggest stage.

Jonathan the Weatherman freaks out more and more with each letdown. It's like a train wreck in slow motion, only the train has had 10 cups of coffee. Minus 6.

Weatherman has a serious cow when Kirk swoops in and escorts an under the weather Ali to bed. Plus 5 for Kirk seizing the moment and Plus 2 for Jonathan tweaking.

Sick Ali invites Chris Lambton to her suite instead of going out, which is even better for getting to know each other. Plus 9 for Chris L. making lemonade (figuratively).

The producers are overplaying the situation with his mom a bit to make Chris look all sympathetic, but it is important, and he does seem genuine and sweet, so Wash.

The guys notice Kasey is "missing." That's because he's at a tattoo parlor. Getting a shield guarding a heart. Plus 17, 'cause that is the lamest, most insane move ever.

Kasey tells his competitors the bandage on his wrist is from a burn. Justin Rego of all people is sure he's lying (see Bachelorette spoilers for definition of irony). Plus 9.

Finally kalled out, Kasey reveals his tattoo, which he says is courageous or something. Frank counters that it "doesn't prove anything except that you're nuts." Plus 7.

TOTAL: +36. SEASON: +86.

Roses: Chris L. (earlier); Kirk, Frank, Craig, Chris N., Roberto, Justin, Ty and Kasey.

Out: Jesse and Jonathan. Poor Weatherman.

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