Ali Fedotowsky continued to narrow the field on The Bachelorette last night, with 11 roses doled out and three dudes sent packing. It was mostly predictable stuff.
Justin Rego, a.k.a. Rated R, was anything but, however. He's getting railroaded a la Vienna Girardi and/or he's just a deceitful pig, depending on who you ask.
Either way, this guy is quickly becoming one of the best Bachelor villains in years. When Rated R draws Vienna comparisons from Ali herself, we're speechless.
According to The Bachelorette spoilers, he's not only there "for the wrong reasons," but was dating two other women, making his tearful BS all the more awesome.
THG breaks down all the action below in its plus-minus index ...
Cue obligatory helicopter ride and bring-them-closer-through-adversity stunt: Ali and Roberto must walk a tightrope, literally, to reach their dinner date. Minus 5.
Not even that cliched cheesiness can dampen the appeal of Roberto Martinez, however. He's hot, speaks like 31 languages and played pro baseball. Gulp. Plus 12.
RIDE OF HER LIFE: Will Roberto Martinez take Ali on just that?
Roberto asks Ali Fedotowsky if she knows how cute she is. Barf, but Plus 2.
On the group date, the guys film a music video for Barenaked Ladies. We're fans, but Minus 6 because ABC is really scraping the bottom cross-promotional stuff.
Each guy gets a scene with Ali and the true colors come out. Jonathan crumbles under pressure, Kirk pretty much mauls her and Frank gets mad jealous. Plus 3.
Kirk gets the rose, but weatherman makes the video. Minus 4.
Chris Lambton talks about the tattoo across his heart, which is his late mom's signature. A little weird, but a sweet sentiment from an overall cool guy, so Plus 9.
The video shoot, while supremely lame, provided us with gratuitous Ali bikini, tub, pool and lingerie action, a point that mustn't be overlooked (see gallery). Plus 10.
SEX APPEAL: The Bachelorette cranks it up to 11. Or at least like 7.5.
Now for the highlight of the night: Miffed by his lack of alone time with Ali, Rated R hobbles two miles on crutches to her place. Supposedly. We doubt it. Minus 9.
You have to give the producers credit for orchestrating that, though. Him limping up during Ali's talking head and her feigning surprise is worth a Plus 8 in itself.
Plus 13 more for Rated R's sob story about his absentee dad and his pleas for the guys to accept him, even after he blatantly (and happily) d!cked over Hunter.
Speaking of Hunter, his date went nowhere due to his utter lack of game. No rose for you. Minus only 2, because while a waste of time, Ali got the message.
Running out of time, Steve sets up a picnic, but can't open the champagne. Ali wonders why his hand doesn't work; Steve says it's numb. Why, Steve?! Minus 5.
Chris L. and Ali bond over flip cup. He's totally winning. Plus 3.
Ali inadvertently outs Justin Rego to Roberto, who narcs on him to the guys, and all hell breaks loose. But they're just pissed they didn't think of it, so Wash.
TOTAL: +29. SEASON: +50.
Roses: Kirk and Roberto (earlier); Chris L., Jesse, Chris N., Ty, Kasey, Craig, Frank, Jonathan and ... Justin. After all that, Rated R lives to fight another week!
Out: Hunter (earlier); John and Steve.