The Bachelorette Recap: 100 Percent Chance of Jonathan Whining, Craig M. Being a Sociopath

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After weeding out the total nut jobs on The Bachelorette premiere, Ali Fedotowsky got down to business last night and actually went on dates with the guys.

Not to say some loons didn't make it through to create more drama, particularly between scary Craig M. and meek weatherman Jonathan. What went down?

THG breaks down all the action below in its plus-minus index ...

Ali and Frank's date features their vintage car breaking down on a jam-packed freeway. That would be pretty hard for the producers to stage, at least. Plus 3.

As they go up to the Hollywood sign, Frank acts as if Ali ganked a key from someone and the producers didn't somehow arrange all this ahead of time. Plus 4.

On Hollywood Blvd., people flock for autographs and pictures with them. Did ABC plant those "fans"? Are people really that obsessed with celebrities that they will fawn all over ... Ali Fedotowsky? Either way, it's worthy of at least Minus 10.

Ali Fedotowsky Bikini Picture

A GOOD CHOICE: The guys salivate over Ali. It's easy to see why.

On second thought, when the group date guys (and viewers) get a look at Ali on the beach in Malibu, maybe the blatant ogling makes a little more sense. Plus 20.

Ty, reading the group date card: "Jonathan ... is NOT going." Plus 4.

Craig M. altercation #1: He needles Jesse relentlessly, only to be shut down when Jesse says: "I don't talk $h!t, I just hit." Craig M.: "Huge rebuttal." Minus 5.

The group date is a photo shoot for a Men of The Bachelorette calendar for charity. With a few exceptions ... well, let's just say we feel for the charity. Minus 6.

The Weatherman is way, way too nervous about a Speedo. Minus 7.

Ty confesses that he was married before. He plays guitar for Ali because his ex-wife never wanted to listen to it. The male Tenley Molzahn, everybody! Plus 5.

Craig R. goes after Justin Rego, who he says lied by omission when he didn't reveal he's a pro wrestler. We're not big Rated R fans ourselves, given what The Bachelorette spoilers indicate he does to Ali, but lay off, Craig! Guy's on crutches! Minus 8.

Jonathan Novack Picture

STORMY WEATHER: Jonathan Novack may be whiny, but we're totally in his corner when it comes to the feud with Craig M. Fortunately, Ali made the right choice, too.

Craig M. altercation #2: Ripping on Jonathan continuously and for no reason. He rats her out to Ali as "dangerous." D!ck move, but Craig had it coming, so ... Wash.

For Jesse's solo date, they jet off to Las Vegas. Plus 6, 'cause while not a master of conversation, he gets a bit of a bad rap, as he seems nice and honest enough.

Chris Lambton is sad he didn't get a date, but he and Ali bond at the cocktail party over being from Massachusetts. We've got a good feeling about him. Plus 11.

Roberto Martinez, similarly, pays Ali many compliments and they seem smitten. He and Chris were small players this week, but are the main contenders. Plus 5.

Minus 4 for the dudes creepin' in the background though. Subtle, fellas.

Craig M. altercation #3: He accosts Jonathan, who, rather than lying or coming clean, says it doesn't matter who outed him, further angering the sociopath. Minus 5.

Fortunately, Craig M. got the boot. Plus 10, because while troublemakers usually entertain, this egomaniac meathead with used car salesman hair is just a waste.

TOTAL: +13. SEASON: +21.

Roses: Frank, Jesse and Ty (won on dates earlier in the night), Kasey, Hunter, Roberto, Chris L., Justin, Steve, Kirk, John C., Craig R., Chris N. and Jonathan.

Out: Tyler V., Craig M. and Chris H.

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Aw man I missed the show. I was at the dodger game, they won, GO DODGERS!!

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You don't have to wait until MOnday - go to Reality Steve and he's got almost the entire season laid out.

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I think its a good thing she said goodbye to "The Whiny Weatherman" & "Craig" because Jonathan was just really whiny, and he looked like a wacko to me, & Craig is just scary.. i think he comes back in the 3rd episode cuz i saw something like that in the previews.. guess ill have to wait til Monday to find out.

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Mmm. Love me some Jonathan in that Speedo. Have some confidence, Weatherman!

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