The Hills Recap: Somebody Dates Stephanie Pratt

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We don't know what's more unfortunate, that this Max guy was set up with Stephanie Pratt, or that The Hills is coming out with Stephanie Pratt story lines now.

No disrespect to Stephanie Pratt, but ... Stephanie Pratt? Last night's The Hills, "A New Bird," focused largely on Spencer's sister. He was nowhere to be found.

While a reprieve from Spencer Pratt can be a nice thing, let's be honest, if there's anything interesting about The Hills anymore, it's watching Speidi meltdowns.

What we're left with in the wake of their odd, unexplained absence is a whole lot of filler. Here's The Hollywood Gossip's official Hills rundown, plus-minus style:

Brody tells Kristin he may go on a date with a girl. Kristin isn't seeing anyone else. Ah, friends with benefits at its best. Someone's always let down. Plus 15.

Audrina invites Ryan out with her friends, and after some hesitation, he agrees. Too bad we already know Audrina Patridge and Ryan Cabrera split. Minus 8.


Brody Jenner puts the moves on new chick McKaela.

Brody's new girl McKaela is new to L.A. and is looking for "genuine friends." LOL. Plus 7 for the inevitable letdown that will result from taking that quest to The Hills.

Stephanie says she feels like her life is finally coming together and she's ready for a relationship and blah blah blah. Does anyone care at all? Minus 9. Because no.

Lo sets her up on a "blind" date. As in the producers of The Hills throwing darts at a wall full of dudes' audition photos while blindfolded? That we could buy. Plus 3.

Charlie gives Brody tips on hooking up and staying single during a golf outing. Charlie. Always so calm and wise. Plus 5 for the increased screen time for this sage.

Audrina also gives Stephanie some dating pointers. Minus 10, 'cause this is not the person you want pointers from, unless your top priority is being walked all over.


Dating Rule #1: No pouting. Rule #2: Tone down the makeup.

Brody Jenner introduces McKaela to his friends and flirts with her in front of Kristin Cavallari. What a passive-aggressive move. But hey, they're not dating, so Plus 8.

Lo helps Stephanie get ready for the big night. We keep expecting some big cat fight to liven it up a bit, but no, it really is just that boring. Minus 3, because really?

Kristin, like, can't believe the next day that Brody did that with McKaela. Stacie reminds her they knew this wouldn't end well. She's like the female Charlie. Plus 4.

Stephanie quizzes Max on basic dating questions. "What's your sign?" Really? This is what The Hills has devolved into? This is just coma-inducing stuff. Minus 27.

TOTAL: -15. SEASON: +40. Yeah. It's looking more and more like this show can't sustain whatever magic it once had, and needs to step it up or go away pronto.

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Kristin Cavallari Biography

Kristin Cavallari... Nude Kristin Cavallari is a Laguna Beach alumna, controversy magnet, former girlfriend of Brody Jenner and Nick Zano, and celebrity gossip... More »
Born
Birthplace
Denver, Colorado
Full Name
Kristin Elizabeth Cavallari
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