Proof That God Hates Kim Kardashian

May 18th, 2010 5:20 PM by Hilton Hater

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17

As a celebrity gossip blogger, Kim Kardashian is a God send. She provides endless material with which we can mock the heck out of this utterly talentless reality star.

But Kim herself has not had the same luck with The Man Upstairs. In the latest issue of Shape, she shares what life was like as a big-breasted child.

Because her boobs were so much bigger than anyone else at the age of 10, Kim says "I remember crying in the bathtub... I took a washcloth, made it hot, put it over my chest and prayed, ‘Please don't let them grow any bigger. They're embarrassing me.'"

And did God heed this prayer? YOU TELL US.

Thanks to her large breasts, Kim Kardashian is famous. Thanks to an unhealthy diet of QuickTrim and Photoshop experts, she looks like this.

Tags: Kim Kardashian

17 Comments

mudrake2
June 2nd, 2010 8:45 AM

Pleeze...that same old tired "story" has been circulating in the men's mags for decades, long before Ms K was born. The sad story of the poor girl cursed with early sexual maturity...I guess the image titillates men...(pun intended). But wait! I thought Ms K was famous for her big lardy African American like ass, not her chest. I would bet my kids inheritance that her chest is not all her. She got it enhanced to balance out the pear like figure she was cursed with. Check back at the old photos of her, especially since the new slimer her does not seem to show the effects of the weight loss in her chest. Common, don't piss down my neck an tell me its raining.
Pete
May 24th, 2010 4:31 PM

puh lease there is nothing this woman is ever embarrased about, she proved that by deliberately leaking her own sex tape, getting pissed on THEN posing nude for playboy. She is pure filth and should not be placed on mag covers 4 young girls to look up to!
chele
May 24th, 2010 1:06 AM

Oops, I meant to type please, not "plea." Seriously, may I go to the loo now? I havea load of loggage to deal with, though I realize this is a very grave topic at hand. Just today I was wondering, "Gee, i wonder if God hates Kim Kardashian"?
chele
May 24th, 2010 1:03 AM

And now here is yet more incredibly exciting and relevant news: I have to poop. The turtle is poking its head out.I love you God!Pleae don't smite me for having to take a poop break while reading Your incredible words of wisdom!
God
May 24th, 2010 12:58 AM

Watch your mouths. Remember: Thou shalt not sasseth God. I'm a close personal friend of St. Peter's, and thereforeadmission through the pearly gates is a lot more difficult than getting into Studio 54 ever dreamed of being, you dirty sodomites!Those who seeketh to enter my exclusive Kingdom must show respect to Me and agree with my decision to smiteth the Kardashians and their worshippers. That means women like you, Sara. Straighten up a bit, young lady! I love you but you're working my nerves.Be happy with what I chooseth to have giveth thou.
God
May 24th, 2010 12:31 AM

Sara,it's God here. My lamb, you may in fact have that body courtesy of a little company you may have heard of called DuPont. Please tell me you don't plan to use this gift I am willing to bestow upon you courtesy of DuPont by whoring yourself all over the already-polluted and stinking planet that you and Kim occupy known as Earth. Enjoy your new fake everything, and behave lest I choose to smite you, too.
God
May 24th, 2010 12:25 AM

For the record, yes, Kim, I do hate you and your entire fame-whore family, and you re all here right at the top of my "smite list," you dumb useless, shagged-out, dirty whore.
fl4isa
Rank: Z-Lister
May 23rd, 2010 7:28 PM

oh btw....
@ who am i?
I LOVE IT! lol
fl4isa
Rank: Z-Lister
May 23rd, 2010 7:27 PM

it's amazing how they make her look perfect in the magazines,photoshop is a beautiful thing!! lol
btw,c'mon guys she is just an average lookin' girl,and her body is already flabby and lookin' like 45 yr old woman who had 4 kids,imagine what's gonna happen when she hits that age for real?! as a matter of fact, i see better looking and most likely natural women every day,this cheap whore got nothin' on 'em!
who am I?
May 23rd, 2010 3:45 PM

I am almost 30 years old, but act like a vain and self-obsessed 13-year old. My body is full of plastic parts and my boobs, ass, lips, cheeks, hair, lipo-ed body, and c hin are all bought and paid for, courtesy of a plastic surgeon. My mother and sisters are wh0res like me and I am a disgrace to my dead father, who was a lawyer. I was so desperate for fame that I deliberately talked my ex-boyfriend into doing a sex tape with me where he bangs me hard in the ass hole and pees on my plastic face. Although I pretended to be upset by the sex tape, I was the one that sent it to Vivid Entertainment, and they paid me $5 million dollars to expose my nasty self. Ray J had nothing to do with the leaked sex tape. I was the one that sent it to Vivid Entertainment. I exploit my FAKE body all of the time because I lack intelligence, class, dignity, self-respect, elegance, and morals. I am a very dirty woman and my ex-Reggie Bush makes fun of my FAKE body to everyone, including the new woman in his l