THG Caption Contest: April 30

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Welcome, readers, to The Hollywood Gossip Caption Contest, where you all try to think and post the funniest caption(s) for the celebrity photo below!

Today's subject? The legendary Jessica Simpson on the talk show circuit. What could she and Ellen be saying / doing? What would make a great caption?

You tell us! Just click "Comments" and send in your caption(s) - as many as you like. We will announce the winner on Monday. Best of luck ... go to it:

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Jessica: Ellen do you understand what I am explaining to you, you seem to be in some sort of trance or deep thought. Ellen, Ellen, do you hear me, answer me please. Ellen: (thinking to herself) You do not want to know what I am thinking at this moment, I don't even want to know what I am thinking. Thank goodness for private meditation.


Jessica: Now Ellen before you say anything, I know you are thinking, this is the first time, I have ever saw a "hope chest" like this. Ellen: No, actually I was thinking I "hope" Portia is not watching me staring at your "chest" :


Ellen: "To help boost ratings for your show, I bottled up Sexual Napalm for you to sell."
Jessica: "John Mayer will be my biggest customer."


Jessica Simpson: Um ya well u know what they say about me and N u know btw ill take em home.
Ellen: (looking at Jess's Breasts) and they would fix perfectly with those implants dont you think?
Jessica Simpson: Oh HELL YEAH.


Ellen: Here, um...let me get this basket out of the way so I can motor boat those things! Jessica: Oh Ellen! tee-hee


J: "What's the hottest selling item in my new line of love gel's? It's this one,I call it 'Sexual Napalm'. The more you use-it---the hotter it gets."


I don't know if these new granny thongs will fit. Ive got extra junk in the trunk these days.


this will help you with those pesky pubic plaque invaders...BTW tell portia to try a brazillian...or a a sugar scrub, if you have a sweet tooth!


These are all of the toothbrushes that I have saved by not using them.


Jessica: "Hmm, I can't remember the last time I brushed my teeth. Thanks for the floss Ellen, I could really use this, my mouth is starting to taste like a toilet"

Jessica Simpson Biography

Best Jessica Simpson Photo Ever
Sweet mother of G-d, Jessica Simpson has got some huge breasts. Holy frickin' $h!t. Look at those things! She also possesses a singing... More »
Abilene, Texas
Full Name
Jessica Ann Simpson

Jessica Simpson Quotes

They're just the cutest couple in the world. They are adorable. Anybody would wish to be them and you can only wish them well. Just being around them inspires love and everything I sing about.

Jessica Simpson [on her sister and Pete Wentz]

It’s fun to do a small film that might be released to DVD not because it’s a horrible film, but because it’s an independent film. For people to say Employee of the Month was a flop is ludicrous. We made the money back–that’s not a flop. For people to say The Dukes of Hazzard was a flop–it opened to $30 million! If these movies are flops, why would I still make them?

Jessica Simpson