Welcome to The Hollywood Gossip. Here we reflect on the past seven days in Hollywood gossip, celebrity news and rumors in our Week in Review.
Highlights from March 27-April 2 include ...
- Lindsay Lohan is going to die unless she gets help. That's the opinion of friends, professionals and family members close to her. Unfortunately for her, Michael Lohan feels the best use of his time is to email THG about its coverage.
- Quite a week for Jesse James: Checking into rehab for "personal issues," posing for Nazi photos, cited for vandalism, claiming to be a "broken" man, and so on. No wonder Sandra Bullock is rumored to be divorcing him.
- Amid reports his wife wants to bail on The Masters, Tiger Woods continues to be dogged and called out as a liar, cheapskate, etc., by his various mistresses ... and even by his kindergarten teacher for good measure.
- Dr. Conrad Murray needs to keep his medical license so that he can pay for his defense against charges he killed Michael Jackson. But he's not sorry.
This girl needs a whole team of shrinks, ASAP.
- Ricky Martin came out as a "fortunate" gay man Monday, while on Friday, Oscar-winning True Blood star Anna Paquin admitted she's bisexual.
- Angelina Jolie is being called a self-centered, manipulative, psycho control freak who laughs when children cry. But is that really true, people?
- American Idol bid farewell to Didi Benami, while welcoming guest stars Usher and Justin Bieber. Speaking of Biebs, he's takin' over the world.
- Dancing with the Stars bid farewell to Shannen Doherty, despite the fact that she outperformed Kate Gosselin, who sucks and is a big whiner.
- The Hills is about to bid farewell to TV. Which is not the worst thing at this point, but you've gotta check out the ridiculous final season trailer.
Britney Spears was certainly dressed to impress Thursday ... as was Mindy McCready on the cover of her hot new sex tape, hilariously called "Baseball Mistress."
- Fashion statements of the week: Jennifer Aniston, who continues to tease us with regard to Gerard Butler, and Britney Spears. See above. Enough said.
- LOL release of the week: The Mindy McCready sex tape, which she claims she is outraged over, and is called Baseball Mistress for no apparent reason.
- Kim Kardashian is just too mature for Reggie Bush. Even if he went on record on Twitter to deny that he ever cheated on the world's greatest body.
- Worst National Anthem performance: Keri Hilson.
- No wonder Miley Cyrus is quitting music for good.
One confirmed Jonas couple, one confirmed breakup this week.
- Couple news: Nick Jonas and Selena Gomez are over; Joe Jonas and Demi Lovato went public; Taylor Swift and Cory Monteith might be dating; Ditto for Erin Andrews and Maksim Chmerkovskiy; Robsten eloped (on April Fools Day).
- Wedding bells: Bethenny Frankel and Jason Hoppy tied the knot.
- Baby news: None from Beyonce and Jay-Z, thankyouverymuch.
- Police blotter, etc.: Jason Wahler was charged with DUI again; Shaq is being sued for harassment by mistress Vanessa Lopez; Dwayne Wade's wife says he gave her an STD; Dennis Hopper's wife may be trying to kill him.
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