Sarah Palin Better Not Have to Use One of Those Damn Straws That Doesn't Bend

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Watergate, it's not, but a document found in a California state university trash bin last week shed interesting light into Sarah Palin's upcoming speech there.

On Tuesday, California Attorney General Jerry Brown said his office would look into finances of the California State University, Stanislaus Foundation. Why?

For potentially violating ethics laws by keeping details of Palin's contract secret.

The former half-term Alaska Governor is scheduled to speak at a June 25 gala hosted by the foundation to commemorate the university's 50th anniversary.

Brown's investigation was prompted in part, by a group of CSU Stanislaus students who retrieved five pages of the contract from a campus trash bin.

This after hearing administrators were engaged in shredding documents - and some stuff they allegedly shredded paints a diva-like picture of Palin.

The contract detailed the alleged politician's requirements for her visit, including first-class flights from Anchorage to California - if she flies commercial.

If not, "the private aircraft MUST BE a Lear 60 or larger," the contract specifies (large enough to accommodate her ego entourage, in other words).

The renowned nuclear weapons expert also must be given a suite at a deluxe hotel, and a lectern stocked with two water bottles with bendable straws.

Regular straws and the deal is off. You got that?!

The document, dated March 16, does not include specific compensation details for Sarah Palin, who commands speaking fees as high as $100,000.

"This is not about Sarah Palin," Brown said. "The issues are public disclosure and financial accountability in organizations embedded in universities."

Come on, it's a little about Sarah Palin. Doesn't sound like a scandal worthy of major attention ... well, besides perhaps on the Sarah Palin Network.

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It is a wonder to know that this air-headed bubble-brain-fire-breathing dragon can command top dollar for talking loud and saying absolutely nothing.