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Looks like Jon Gosselin has a new girlfriend.

Ellen Ross is not, however, the rich cougar Jon was reportedly seeking. Rather, she’s in his typical age range (23), and hails from nearby Harrisburg, Pa.

Basically, Ellen is the new Morgan Christie, who was the new Hailey Glassman, who was the new Deanna Hummel. Give it up for Jon’s new plaything!

The two have even begun calling each other “boyfriend” and “girlfriend” with Jon even proclaiming his love for her online. We hope you didn’t just eat.

Mariah Carey's World
(Frederick M. Brown)

Their recent Facebook nausea-fest conversation all began when Ellen Ross recently posted “I without a doubt have THE best boyfriend ever. Fyi”

She must not have a lot of experience dating.

COME TO DADDY: Jon Gosselin’s got a new love in Ellen Ross!

Jonny G added: “Thank you babe, you are the best too. <3 u! I think boys should be boyfriends and men should be manfriends. Just saying! ;-)”

Right, Jon. You definitely quality there.

He continues: “I guess it would sound better in french ‘J’ai sans aucun doute le meilleur ami jamais. ami=boyfriend’ … Ellen, Amie pendant la vie. N’oubliez pas je t’aime … Girlfriend for life. Don’t forget I love you!”

That sound you hear is of hands slapping foreheads everywhere.

Perhaps the funniest part? Right after Jon’s passionate declaration, a friend of Ellen’s adds, “Still can’t believe you’re dating men again … wild”

That misguided pal must be mistaken … Ellen’s dating Jon Gosselin.

Lest we forget, the dude’s got a two-inch package. This has been established. Whatever works for you crazy kids, though. Congratulations, Stubby!

NOTE: Befriend THG on Facebook and we promise, no gross lovey-dovey stuff. Well, unless you’re a rich cougar … exceptions may be made then.