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Just in case you thought you knew the real Angelina Jolie ... you totally don't. The humanitarian actress is actually a pompous bitch and a raging psycho!

At least according to In Touch, which quotes Brangelina's former bodyguard, supposedly, in "exposing" the "hidden truth" about the controversial star.

And we're talking worse than staging photo ops.

“In my opinion, the real Angelina is self-centered and a control freak," the dude says. "She has no patience at all. She doesn’t do things out of kindness."

"And she’s totally psycho.”

Well, there you have it, fans. Brad Pitt really needs to run for his life and back into the arms of Jennifer Aniston as soon as humanly possible ... OR ELSE!

Angelina Jolie likes when the kids cry. Does she also kick dogs?

“Angelina has a a private and a public persona,” continues the former bodyguard, who for "security reasons" chooses only to be identified by his first name, Bill.

How far does she take these supposed mind games?

"She screams and yells a lot, then walks away,” Bill says. “She will disappear into her suite for hours,” leaving staffers - and Brad - to deal with her children."

"She would punish them with silence. I think she could be abusive at times in a mental way," he adds, even "giggling when one of her kids starts crying."

The guy says that while Brangelina used to have “a lot of laughing and fun” and “spontaneous sex,” now the couple often sleeps in separate bedrooms.

Shame. But it makes sense. You probably have to distance yourself from the maniac sometimes if you're Brad Pitt. One man can only deal with so much.

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Jennifer Aniston and Gerard Butler sure have great chemistry. Or know how to make it look like they do so that you'll go see their movie in theaters.

At the most recent press event in Madrid, Spain, for The Bounty Hunter, Jen chose a sexy short black dress with leather, lace and beading to wear.

Jennifer Aniston Dumped?

It was a wise decision, we feel confident saying.

By the look on Gerard Butler’s face, we can tell that he approves ... then again, besides Brad Pitt, what sane man would possibly raise objections?!

They are so the hottest rumored couple ever ...

Jen and Gerry heat up Spain ... and romance rumors.

While it sure beats the salmon-colored hideousness she rocked the other day, you have to wonder who wears a dress that resembles lingerie on the red carpet.

Well, we suppose a lot of celebrities would. But we expect a little bit more from Jen. Maybe she's just so smitten with Gerard Butler that she couldn't resist ...

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Sarah Palin. Fox News. Those two things go together like Demi Lovato and Joe Jonas, or whatever smoldering celebrity couple du jour you prefer to use.

It's a terrific match is all we're saying.

The former Alaska Governor and current professional celebrity has already served as a contributor for the channel, and will do so again this coming Thursday.

That's when the 2008 V.P. candidate hosts Real American Stories.

The show is your basic celeb interview show in which famous Americans - Toby Keith, LL Cool J and former GE CEO Jack Welch - reveal secrets of their success.

Do they fight each other and/or Sarah Palin after? Otherwise, it sounds pretty boring. But you have to give it to Sarah, she is seriously everywhere these days.

Sarah Palin: The new face of ... well, everything.

She's got her book. She's got her new reality show on TLC. Pretty soon she'll be starting her campaign for the presidency in 2012. She's totally gonna be huge!

FYI, tomorrow is April Fool's Day. Coincidence? We think not.

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American Idol's R&B/Soul night was the first episode of the finals to really shake things up, with a couple of unexpected standout performances and a few letdowns.

There were standouts you could have easily predicted, too, such as Michael Lynche, who won raves for a stirring rendition of India.Arie's soulful "Ready for Love."

Meanwhile, Lee DeWyze was terrific for the second straight week, this time turning the Cornelius Brothers' "Treat Her Like a Lady" into a contemporary rock song.

Both were enough to overshadow the outstanding Crystal Bowersox, who was solid just the same on "Midnight Train to Georgia" (with piano and no guitar even).

Andrew Garcia and Casey James both scored big with the judges and earned some badly-needed praise for "Forever" (Chris Brown) and "Hold On" (Sam & Dave).

Big Mike Lynche

Michael Lynche is one of the few who never disappoints.

On the opposite end of the spectrum, Siobhan Magnus disappointed somewhat with her take on Chaka Khan's "Through the Fire," Aaron Kelly and Katie Stevens were average at best, and Didi Benami and Tim Urban will be the bottom two if we had to wager.

Agree with our take? Who do you think will go home tonight? Here's how we rank Tuesday's American Idol performances (with last week's ranking):

  1. Michael Lynche, "Ready for Love" (3)
  2. Lee DeWyze, "Treat Her Like a Lady" (2)
  3. Crystal Bowersox, "Midnight Train to Georgia" (1)
  4. Andrew Garcia, "Forever" (8)
  5. Casey James, "Hold On, I'm Coming" (5)
  6. Siobhan Magnus, "Through the Fire" (4)
  7. Aaron Kelly, "Ain't No Sunshine" (6)
  8. Katie Stevens, "Chain of Fools" (9)
  9. Tim Urban, "Sweet Love" (11)
  10. Didi Benami, "What Becomes of the Broken Hearted" (7)

Click to enlarge photos of the finalists in action ...

  • C. James Picture
  • Siobhan in the House
  • A. Garcia Pic
  • Tim Urban Live
  • K. Stevens Pic
  • Crystal Clear
  • AK-47
  • Didi Benami Sings

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Well, shows what we know.

Following the shocking elimination of Shannen Doherty, Dancing With the Stars either established itself as wildly unpredictable or wrought with conspiracy.

Is a ratings-boosting fix in from ABC? Are voters going all Sanjaya on us and trying to keep the worst peeps on? Does no one recall the original 90210?

Whatever the reason, despite a semi-respectable two-week score of 38, good for seventh place out of 11 by the judges' tallies, Doherty is outta here.

Despite being wildly outperformed, Kate Gosselin, who was among the bottom three vote getters, escaped elimination Tuesday. What a complete joke.

Even more amazing? Pamela Anderson, despite being the fourth highest rated performer Monday by the judges, landed in the bottom two with Doherty.

Shannen and Mark

ONE AND DONE: It's all over for Shannen Doherty and Mark Ballas.

The 38-year-old Shannen said on last week's season premiere that she joined the show's cast to honor her father, a big fan who recently suffered a stroke.

"To see my dad's face light up the way it did and how proud he was of me filled me with this kind of amazing emotion of thankfulness," Doherty said Tuesday.

"I call that a success."

Why was this angle not played up more by producers? Or the fact that her partner was dancing hurt? Because they were more worried about keeping Kate on.

Doherty led off Monday's show, while Gosselin closed it out. Kate's dancing royally sucked, but a heated spat with Tony Dovolani was fresh in the voters' minds.

They patched things and performed a Jive Bruno Tonioli called “a disaster,” but apparently it was good enough to score another week, along with Buzz Aldrin.

What do you think? Did the voters make the right decision? Should Kate have gone home? Who are you rooting for on Dancing with the Stars?

 

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With his marriage to Sandra Bullock all but over, Jesse James has "checked himself into a treatment facility to deal with personal issues," his rep said.

Amid the cheating scandal that has rocked them, "he realized that this time was crucial to help himself, help his family and help save his marriage."

James, Jesse

While the rep did not specify the type of treatment facility, one source confirms he checked in March 26, and that it was "100 percent his own idea."

Not, the source says, the result of an ultimatum from Bullock. Reports surfaced yesterday that she will divorce James, however this is not confirmed.

Might he buy himself another chance with this rehab stint?!

HEAD DOWN: Will Jesse James be able to save his marriage?

Whatever the reason, the poor man's Tiger Woods followed in the golfer's footsteps, checking himself into in-patient treatment after being tied to numerous women. Like Woods, James' wife moved out and is considering her options.

The location? A rehab facility in Tucson, Ariz., called Sierra Tucson, which specializes in drug, alcohol and sex addiction, as well as various other disorders.

Law enforcement sources say that a CHP officer stopped Jesse last Friday on I-10 near Blythe, Calif., for driving with no front plate and with tinted windows. During the traffic stop, he said he was going to Arizona to try to save his marriage to Sandra.

James was specific, saying he was going to rehab in Tucson. No word on whether he's scheduled any quickies with Michelle McGee while at the facility.

Sandra Bullock should ...

 

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Phew. That's all we cay say now that Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt have shot down rumors that they are splitting up and she already moved out.

"I'm not moving out," Heidi Montag stated. "I love Spencer with all my heart." Added Pratt: "I love my wife more now than I ever thought I could."

Not that it's been smooth sailing of late.

Montag recently squabbled with Pratt over her plastic surgery and diva-like behavior, and even fired him as manager. But they have stuck together.

"All that we've been through has only made us work harder at our relationship," Heidi says. "We will continue to work to be the best couple we can be."

"I'm so excited The Hills are finally over so I won't be edited by anyone," she adds. "This will be the first time people truly see us for who we are."

So Spiritual

Wait, we thought The Hills was a reality show? Never mind.

In order to strengthen their bond with each other and spirituality, Heidi and Spencer Pratt decided to give themselves "true native-American names."

Guess playing with balls of healing energy was a one-shot deal.

In any case, say goodbye to Speidi and say hello to ... drum roll ... White Wolf and Running Bear, respectively. We'd have chosen Montag by Mattel.

A rep for the couple say Pratt's previous moniker, King Spencer, was "too much of a burden to have to carry the weight of royalty." This guy rules.

Instead, Running Bear is getting "more in tune with spirituality ... and will be known by the name our creator has given us." For the next day or so.

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Lindsay Lohan needs help. Michael Lohan is not wrong there.

His motives, however? Highly suspect. Mike decided the best way to reach out to her was to address the public ... in a live press conference. Only Michael Lohan.

Dressed in a suit in his attorney’s NYC office, Lohan blamed the people in Lindsay’s inner circle for enabling her partying and alleged prescription drug addiction.

He fears Lindsay Lohan is going to die unless she gets help, and immediately.

“The people around her know Lindsay is not okay,” Michael said. “I get calls from her closest friends when they’re out with her during the night. I don’t want her to be a statistic. The press is already writing obits for her. How sick is that?”

Pretty sick, dude. As is your conduct.

  • Begging For it
  • In Need of Serious Help

He begged not to be judged for reaching out this way. Too late. “Extraordinary circumstances call for extraordinary measures,” Michael Lohan claims.

“I’ve tried every way possible to reach out to my daughter. I have called, texted ... in difficult times she reaches out to me for help. Last week she called me when she fell into the cactus. She said ‘Daddy, I need security.’ This is not about publicity."

That may be the quote of the year so far.

Michael says he plans to return to Los Angeles to sit down with Lindsay and convince her to go to rehab. For now, he has a message for you sponges:

“If you’re an enabler, get the hell out of the way,” he said. “If Lindsay won’t sit down privately, my attorneys and I will take other measures. I just hope Lindsay is accommodating. Lindsay needs a private setting where she can detox."

The nonsensical one added: "I’m sick and tired of the nonsense.”

Follow the jump for a video of Michael Lohan's press conference:

Continue Reading...

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A wise person somewhere once said that Twitter was more or less invented for narcissistic stars to post topless photos of themselves. And we're all for it.

It's fitting, in a way, that Lady Gaga took to the social media venue to get naked too, since every other time we see her, we talk about her outrageous outfits.

Lady Gaga Motivational Poster

Might as well shake things up and show us Lady Gaga topless!

The real reason for the pic? Celebrating her 24th birthday. Here she is holding a "communist-red teacup" that she declared the "perfect Birthday gift."

She also Tweets: "Last words are for fools who haven't." Sp think about that. Let it marinate. There's no way you're even still reading this, right? Hello?

NOTE: Click here to follow THG on Twitter ... although you won't find any topless photos of our interns. At least not that we're aware of. You never can tell.

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Kim Kardashian and Reggie Bush may be back together someday, but they're over now. Here's why, according to the venerable publication known as Life & Style.

An insider reveals Kush split shortly after their Costa Rican getaway in early March: "It was a make-or-break vacation, and things just didn't work," a source says.

Kim in Green

According to sources from both sides, the biggest reason behind their surprising breakup was the difference in maturity between Kim, 29 and Reggie, who's 25.

Yes, Kim Kardashian is being described as more mature than someone.

"Kim is a sophisticated businesswoman," an insider says of the professional celebrity. "Reggie's just a big kid. He's not grown-up enough for her at the moment."

IT'S OVER: But is the split for good this time?

A friend of the couple says it could go either way at this point. "Should they decide to stay together, it will require time and hard work on both sides," the pal says.

"Their families are rooting for the romance to work out."

What happens next could depend on Reggie Bush growing up ... or not.

"He's definitely had a marriage conversation with Kim's mom. But he's like a child; it's doubtful it was formal. So either there will be a ring - or they're finished."

To his credit, he did take to Twitter this week to deny cheating on Kim. Sure, an in-person conversation might have been better, but the effort was there!

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