Tiger Woods Plans Return to Golf

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While Las Vegas locks down its waitresses in light of Tiger Woods' release from sex rehab, golf course owners may soon need to do the same.

Sources report that the golfer is moving back to his Windermere, Florida residence next week and has locked in a return date to the sport that made him famous.

At the moment, Woods is planning to play in the Tavistock Cup, an event that pits professionals from the Isleworth Golf & Country Club against those from the Lake Nona Golf & Country Club. It takes place on March 22 and 23.

After that tournament, Woods will prepare for a tradition unlike any other, The Masters. It will be held in April in Georgia.

In posibly related news, Elin Woods has sent a text message to every woman in Georgia: I bought a new set of golf clubs. Consider yourself warned.

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It is definitely best for Tiger to resume his golf career so as to shift everyone's attention to his golfing rather than to the tabloid fabricated news of celebrity.... It will also give a target for Tiger so that he can move on to challenge himself with Masters, US Open and British Open... Tiger never wants to be treated as a celebrity...