Vienna Girardi has The Bachelor all but wrapped up, if last night is any indication. Jake Pavelka is wrapped around her finger and the other girls are at their wits' end.
As always, THG staff members endured Jake's latest trials and tribulations on The Bachelor to recap all the action for you with our exclusive point system below ...
Tenley Molzahn gets the first of three one-on-ones with Jake. She tries to act very squeaky and cute. Plus 5. But Minus 7 because so does Jake, and he's a dude.
Corrie punks Ali by saying she and Vienna will be going on the two-on-one. In reality, it's Gia and Vienna, but Ali has a full-on hissy fit in front of Vienna. Minus 3.
Jake's #1 wife requirement is that she have his back, no matter what. That and Chris Harrison orchestrating unrealistic dates for him the rest of his life. Plus 4.
Nice turtleneck, Jake. Minus 2.
Okay, Jake, a little to the left... perfect! Stand there and act natural!
En route to her date with Jake (and third wheel Gia), Vienna Girardi pronounces the Castello vineyard "castle." Who says you can't judge a book by its cover? Plus 8.
Jake on dating two girls at the same time: "It's almost awkward." Not unlike our reaction every time he's on screen and tries to ad-lib off the cue cards. Minus 3.
Upset that Jake and Gia are alone together, pathetic Vienna desperately wanders through the estate in an attempt to find and cock block her "boyfriend." Plus 9.
Later, the girls go to bed ... until Vienna slips out for a rendezvous in Jake's room. A rendezvous Jake didn't know he would be attending. Obsessed much? Minus 4.
Jake on Vienna: "I definitely had dirty thoughts." Cringe. Minus 13.
Gia Allemand makes a strong impression. Team Gia/Tenley! Plus 3.
Corrie's date involved the two of them sitting silently in a rowboat, waiting to make a move. At least the outdoor scenery was nice during this nonsense. Minus 6.
This is Vienna Girardi. The other girls hate her so hard.
His date with Ali Fedotowsky? Not much better. We get it. You live in San Francisco and it's awesome. You hate that Jake likes Vienna too. Just STFU you catty ...
... okay, that blue dress is looking damn good on her. Even.
Why do the girls talk about Vienna 24/7 and rarely say what they like about Jake? Ali is the worst, and it's all growing tiresome. Minus 5, and Minus 6 more for the filler quotient this week, as this could've been condensed into one hour easily.
But at least that meant time for a host-pimp fireside chat, so Plus 3.
LOL at Vienna's hair during the rose ceremony. WTH is that? Plus 8.
TOTAL: -11. SEASON: +13. Roses: Tenley, Ali, Gia and Vienna. Gone: Corrie.
Who should Jake choose among his final four ladies?