Jake Pavelka toured the hometowns and met the families of his remaining four women on The Bachelor last night. From New York to Oregon, everything went well.
Until Ali Fedotowsky dropped the biggest bombshell in Bachelor history, that is. Well, except for last summer on The Bachelorette when the same thing happened.
The story editors really need to step it up. As always, THG endured Jake's trials and tribulations on The Bachelor to recap the action in our exclusive point system:
Gia Allemand says Jake's unlike anyone she's dated. Yup, he's that dull. Minus 3.
Erick, Gia's brother, is like a poor man's Pauly D from Jersey Shore. Plus 4.
Gia confesses was with a "bad guy" who cheated on her with all her friends. Wow, so Carl Pavano is not only wildly overpaid, he's a complete jackass. Minus 7.
Jake pretends to deliberate while looking at pictures from ABC.com.
Visiting New England in the late fall, Jake tells Ali that it comes to cold, "I'm a big baby." Replace "cold" with just about anything and that would be true. Plus 5.
Ali drags poor Jake to ... her deceased grandmother's empty house. To borrow one of the simplest, but most profound Liz Lemon quotes: "Dealbreaker!" Minus 3.
Ali's mom says she Googled Jake. THG ranks #1 when one does this. Plus 30.
Jake to Tenley: "I run everything I do by my parents." Groan. Minus 8.
Jake to Tenley: "You have to be a we." Swoon. Plus 9.
Tenley choreographs a ballet dance for Jake set to a traditional wedding march. We can't decide if genuine cuteness trumps extreme awkwardness, so ... Even.
Jake asks Tenley's dad for his blessing - while dating three other girls - and gets it! Why? Because he's "a man of integrity." On The Bachelor. LOL. Minus 48.
Farewell, Ali Fedotowsky ... or will you return?
For once, Vienna Girardi was not the focal point of the entire episode. Plus 12 for that, but an obligatory Minus 7 because her dad has some major screws loose.
The "bombshell" is Ali Fedotowsky going all Ed Swiderski on Jake Pavelka's Jillian Harris. She's gotta go back to work! Minus 100 for the absurd hype this got.
But Plus 86 for Ali crying in the hallway; Jake leaning over the banister. Ali pulling out of the rose ceremony, and Jake's remark: "All I have right now is hope."
While it's rather lame of Ali to up and leave, she probably made the right choice. Jake is pretty lame, and it's hard to get a new job in this economy. Plus 24.
In the promo for next week, the phone rings and it's ... Ali! Who would have guessed? Oh wait, us. Since this already happened on The Bachelorette. Minus 8.
TOTAL: -12. SEASON: +1. Roses: Tenley, Gia, Vienna. Gone: Ali ... or is she?!
Who should Jake Pavelka give his final rose to?