We hope you're sitting down for this.
You best not be operating any heavy machinery when you hear the news.
Seriously, this is more stunning than Chris Harrison's announcement that The Bachelor will have a shocking conclusion. Are you ready for it?
Tila Tequila is not pregnant. We'll give you a few moments to digest this startling revelation...
Buried in a series of Twitter messages late last week, Tila wrote the following:
Today, of course, she made another reference to her "baby daddy" in a post. This woman is so bat $hit crazy confusing!
Even if Tequila is (gasp!) not actually knocked up, she's still threating the universe with a child. She Tweeted last night:
Im in the process of adopting a baby from Kazakhstan, just like Casey's Daughter. That's all she wanted so Im adopting a child there. xoxo.
Whatever. We're just glad Tila didn't die over the weekend. Our life would be so much less funny (although so much more truthful) if she had.