John Mayer is a douchebag.
Sorry, but sometimes (okay, often), the dude is just so obsessed with himself and hearing himself talk that we can't think of better words to describe him.
Case in point? His recent comments about Tiger Woods ... and naturally how the golfer's plight relates to that of John Mayer, according to John Mayer.
"Tiger Woods' problems come from him being married. The end," the douchebag explains to the UK's Independent. "It has nothing to do with control."
"If Tiger Woods was a single guy," Mayer opines, "what sort of angle would there be to a text message? If Tiger Woods was single, and he texted a girl and said 'I wanna wear your ass like a hat,' why would that ever hit the news?"
He may have a point. But of course, it's all about John Mayer.
"I can text whatever I want to anybody in the world; I'm not married. I write a lot of dirty text messages to girls, and you've never seen any of them," he says.
"Why? Because if a girl brought a dirty text from me to the newspapers, they'd say 'I don't have an angle here. Someone wants to wear your ass like a hat?"
"Big deal. He's 32 years old. He's a single guy. If John Mayer has a wife and sends dirty text messages, then we got a story.' And that's why I won't do that."
"When I get married that's gonna be my vows, 'Do you, John Mayer, take this woman to have and to hold, to wear her ass like headgear, now and forever?'"
"Yes, I do. You're the one whose ass I wanna wear like a hat for the rest of my life. With this whole Tiger Woods scandal," he says, "I wish more people would be like, 'You know what, John Mayer? You didn't f--k up at all.'"
And we thought him bragging about his self-pleasuring expertise was bad. He and Mel Gibson need to start an Egomaniacs Who Heart Tiger Woods club.
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5 Comments
February 10th, 2010 4:58 PM
P.S. Keep yourself out of the "doghouse".
February 10th, 2010 4:55 PM
For a while,Tiger got lost, and we knew nothing, until his car accident, and then some of us thought we knew everything.
Telegraph, telephone, tell-a-woman.
Out came the dirty dozen,women who knew that he was married, with children.Because I am not going to place blame.Words to the wise to Tiger. Get back to the Woods(family).Keep your whiskers dry,
your paws clean, and your mind off other women.When you get out of Rehab, do not re-hash.Do not go on Talk Radio, Talk TV, or
DR. Phil, and most definitely no visits to Divorce Court.Stay in your den,if you cradle someone, make it your wife and children.No late nights out with your posse,if a woman come to you in a grass skirt,remember the only fox that you will be chasing is your wife.
The only swinging we want to hear about, is you swinging your famous golf clubs.Do not pounce out there apologizing again,you have already done that.This time you passed through that ring of fire, and landed on your feet.Take care of you and yours, and no more walking on the wild side. Luv you and Family!
February 4th, 2010 1:53 AM
The media ruined Hugh Grant instantly when he was horsing around with hookers while unmarried. (This makes twice that I've debunked Mayer's bunk theory of "If you're not married no one cares.")
So, why did they wait so long to expose the truth about Tiger?
This is racism! The Marxist-Fascists at CFR made the mass media pimp Tiger as a goody goody so they could install a puppet for Israel. They wanted Tiger's image to transfer to Obama. They didn't hesitate on ruining Hugh Grant because he's an Anglo. It's brainwashing in the most Stalinesque sense. They framed the images so that it will look like the blacks have surpassed whites in talent, class and popularity. It's part of the New World Order agenda, CFR has created a false reality, a make believe world, a racist storybook picture that tells you to accept Israeli as your master as you were told to in the biblical chapter of Revelations. Israel's leader Ariel Sharon said to the world via the press, "Israel controls America" so you are to accept the puppet created by Axelrod and other Israelis. Don't fight the story fed to you is what they are saying.
The revelation that Tiger is something other than what you formerly believed him to be is a slap in the face, a way of saying, "You fools believe any lie we sell you. Ha!"
The television is the modern day bible, people look to it religiously for something to believe, and similarly that something rarely has any truth to it.
February 4th, 2010 1:36 AM
A lot of Tiger's popularity came from his Little Goody Two Shoes image that attracted decent people (read people with money to buy the upteen products he pimped). More than half the people who bought the products he pimped would not have wanted to be associated with his image had they know what he was really like. The media made him look like something he wasn't in order to capitalize on his golf talent.
That being said, he could very well have not gotten married or had children and just ran around being a total sleaze and it would be no big deal. But, as it stands with the image crafted, had the former Tiger said, "I want to wear your ass as a hat" it would have shocked followers of his golf game.
Now people know how well the media can create a false image of a person. It makes them much more ready to accept that Obama is a false messiah, a total fraud, a poser. So, the media and sport of golf have done the world a favor.
They knew.
February 2nd, 2010 10:06 PM
John's got the right idea! Tiger's only real problem is he's married. He should ditch Elin (= gold digging whore) and go after his true loves - golf and whoring. What guy wouldn't want the chance to travel around the country, play golf, win millions, and pound lots of young wenches?