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Tori Spelling to Pen Third, Useless Memoir

 

It's one of the most embarrassing facts we've ever come across:

Each of Tori Spelling's first two memoirs ranked on New York Times-bestsellier's list, with Mommywood and sTORItelling combining to sell over 800,000 copies.

While our staff racks our brain to come up with a single reason why anyone would care about this washed-up actress' take on family life, we're sad to report that she isn't done. A third book, tentatively titled unchartered terriTORI, is scheduled to hit stores in June.

"I love sharing my stories and experiences with people and connecting to them on both a humorous and emotional level," Spelling told People. ""Whenever something happens that makes me laugh or if I remember something in the middle of the night that I want to share, I jot the experience down."

Tori

Expect the nauseating tome to cover tabloid scrutiny of Spelling's weight; her contentions relationship with mother Candy; and life with husband Dean McDermott.

Other rumored titles for the book include:

  • TORIble: My Guest-Starring Stint on 90210
  • Self-ExplanaTORI: Stuff I should have said in my previous two memoirs
  • DefamaTORI: A shameless attempt to cash in
  • An ObligaTORI Attempt to Remain Relevant
  • Downward TrajecTORI: My Career in a Nutshell

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6 Comments

  1. ANNYconrad

    This is an ugly white lady. wow!

  2. annonymous

    What could this imbecile, Tori, possibly write in a book that she has not already twittered about, aired on her pathetic TV show or plastered all over the tabloids? Next to Tila Tequila, she is the most over-exposed unintelligent, no talent...go away Tori...your sTories are mundane and boring. And Sara, Tori DESTROYED Dean's family by having an extramarital affair and encouraged him to abandon his newly adopted infant daughter! There is nothing beautiful about Tori Spelling. She is a an UGLY,VENOMOUS WHORE married to a SNAKE.

  3. guest

    I'm confused. Does this site have anything NICE to say about ANYONE??? All I've read on here is you criticizing eveybody. Kind of a drag Hilton Hater. Don't think I'll be reading much more on here...

  4. Sara

    I love Tori Spelling. I enjoyed her first book, sTORItelling and have purchased her second book, Mommywood, but haven't read it, yet. You can bet your ass I'll buy her third book, too.

    Why do you feel the need to hate on Tori? Why do people insult her and call her horseface? People are so rude, shallow and just downright jealous. I love you, Tori! You are beautiful inside and out!!!

  5. hmmmm

    Tori doesn't seem washed up... She actually seems smarter and saner than most of Hollywood! Nothing wrong with being an author, married, or a devoted mom....

  6. hopeso

    So i see Chelsey is not the only jealous hater out there...Are you relevant to Tori's life? Go Tori best sellers twice..I enjoyed your first 2 books and cant wait to read the #3.

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Tori Spelling Bio

Age: 37
Birthday: May 16, 1974
Tori Spelling is a bad actress that's desperate for attention. She annoys us by how she tries to ...