Tiger Woods Text Messages: Flat-Out Ridiculous

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Even for a guy we knew cheated on Elin Nordegren with eight mistresses (and counting) Tiger Woods surprised us with the content of these text messages.

At times dirty and at times emotionally vulnerable, his texts and emails to mistresses Jaimee Grubbs and Rachel Uchitel paint quite the portrait of the man.

One second, Tiger's jealous of Rachel's romantic past and worrying about being just "number f--king five" on the list of famous men Uchitel has been with.

The next, he's writing "what kind of present your naked body" when Jaimee mentions a birthday gift. There's just know telling what Tiger Woods will say!

Rache and Jaimee

What was Tiger Woods thinking? Thanks to his leaked text and email correspondences with Jaimee Grubbs and Rachel Uchitel, we actually kind of know the answer!

Earlier this afternoon, we published a helpful list of Tiger Woods' women with pictures as a cheat sheet for those who can't keep track of his mistresses.

Now here's a compilation of the emails and text messages compiled by Us Weekly, Radar Online, In Touch Weekly and other sources over the past week.

We can't sum up the highlights or do these justice, so just read on ...

Text Messages Between Tiger Woods and Jaimee Grubbs

July 20, 3:04 p.m.

Tiger: Hey Sexy I can't come out this week. Something came up family wise
Jaimee: That's okay I hope everything is fine … would have liked to see you
Tiger: We will make it happen

July 26, 11: 22 p.m.

Jaimee: I drove out for the night to surprise a friend with a present for there birthday
Tiger: what kind of present your naked body
Jaimee: haha no a watch I slept alone
Tiger: alone with him that is
Jaimee: haha I wish

Sept. 27, 6:38 p.m.

Jaimee: miss u
Tiger: now that's hot so who is your new boy toy
Jaimee: no new boy toy … still running dry… been on 2 real dates in the pat 2 months :(
Tiger: I need you
Jaimee: then get your tight ass over here and visit me! I need u
Tiger: I will wear you out soon
Jaimee: how soon? I got a new piercing
Tiger: really. Where
Jaimee: I just sent u a pic of it … is on my cheek below my eye … implanted a little diamond
Tiger: send it again. I didn't pick up on that
Tiger: you just need some attention from me
Tiger: do you have a boy friend (8:45 p.m.)
Jaimee: I don't even have someone I am dating … no … u can be my boyfriend ;)
Tiger: then I am
Jaimee: I wish
Tiger: quiet and secretively we will always be together
Tiger: when was the last time you got laid

Sept. 30, 3:38 p.m.

Jaimee: if we hang out on a Sundway we can watch desperate houswives again haha
Tiger: oh god
Jaimee: take a break from watching boring old golf
Jaimee: I mean the amazing sport of golf ;)
Jaimee: [more than an hour later] babe I was kidding
Tiger: I know sexy

Oct. 1, 6:06 p.m.

Jaimee: is it orange county time yet?
Tiger: oh stop :)
Jaimee: hahaha I know … but you canceled on me last time so the anticipation is killing me … im finding myself watching sports center … haha j/k it isn't that bad
Tiger: its never been that bad
Jaimee: very true … I only watch football
Tiger: Figured you would say that. Big black guys.
Jaimee: u are my first, last and only black guy! U should feel special
Tiger: why do I not believe that?
Tiger: [later, in response to Jaimee's mention of a date who was "full of himself"] you kinda like that for some reason which is weird why you decided on me.
Tiger: having an asian mother and a military father you cannot and will not ever be full of yourself
Jaimee: I have fun with u, you always make me smile and I am not afraid to be myself or say anything to u … the day I met u I thought u were going to kick me out a few times but for someone reason you didn't and u have told me numerous times I talk to much but slowly as I get to know u iI think your absolutely amazing
Tiger: you are wrong I'm bone thugs in harmon

Oct. 15, 6:40 p.m.

Jaimee: Something wrong babe?I was excited to sepnd time with u this week
Tiger: I will you Sunda night. Its the only night in which I am totally free but I have to leave at 530 Monday morning to drive up to the valley for an outing for one of my sponsors. See you at 8 pm on Sunday in newport
Tiger: don't text me back till tomorrow morning. I have to many people around me right now

Oct. 18, 3:40 p.m.

Tiger: send me something very naughty
Jaimee: some things are worth waiting for lol … besides im at work
Tiger: go to the bathroom and take it
Jaimee: haha ur too much

Oct. 18, 11:38 p.m.

Jaimee: are u leaving me cause your wife is still in newport :( I am lonely now … i like falling asleep in your arms
Tiger: sorry baby I just can't sleep. Its just a problem I have.
Tiger: she is not here. They left this morning
Jaimee: well I appreciate you not wanting to wake me up but if y couldn't sleep I would have rather sat up and talked to u more … find out why I keep falling more and more for u ;)
Tiger: Because I'm blasian :)
Tiger: I'm sorry babe. Im already home.
Jaimee: I'm putting my underwear back on … thats a no no … come take them off
Tiger: :) you are too funny

Nov. 26, 11:16 a.m.

Tiger: happy thanksgiving to you
Jaimee: u too love

E-mails Between Tiger Woods and Rachel Uchitel

E-mail 1: "I know it's brutal on you that you can't be with me all the time. I get it. It f---ing kills me, too. I finally found someone I connect with, someone I have never found like this. Not even at home. You want someone to witness your life. I want you to lay next to me, lay on me or wherever you want to lay. F--k. Why didn't we find each other year's ago. We wouldn't be having this conversation. Never thought I would care and be as emotional as I am with you. You bring a side of me I never thought existed both good and bad. I don't like feeling so vulnerable. It bothers me a lot. I'm much tougher than this."

E-mail 2: "You don't have to answer that e-mail. I just wanted you to know what's going on inside me."

E-mail 3: "I don't know if this is going to work. I though I was getting to know you, but it feels like I'm just another person who happens to be famous. Everytime I think about it, I get a lump in my throat. Some of the other parts of your past really get to me. I don't know what person I was falling for so hard. The one I got to know on the phone, e-mail, text and in person. I am so confused, because what my brain is saying and what my heart is saying are two different things. Is it the Rachel I know or the character? That's what's hard. It guts me to think I've fallen for the wrong one and will be number f---ing five on that list."

E-mail 4: "I need you here [at the Australian Masters in Melbourne]! Just pack and get organized. Sorry if I hurt you."

Response from Rachel Uchitel, who said she wasn't flying across the world to be with: "someone who doesn't want and need me. I have some pride, too, you know."

"You broke my heart. You made me remember what real hurt is."

E-mail 5: "Get yourself together and get on the flight. We can fight down here and have make-up sex." (Uchitel did travel to Melbourne)

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Tiger is pure scum. Pure scum. Men are dogs. This ho only after his money. Bitch

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those women are all TARTS!!!!

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He is a manipulator and total control freak..read some of his comments about black guy, getting laid etc. Being number 5..he's trying to guilt them into being with him, but on his terms and timeline!!
One morething, there have been a lot of comment on how he found the time to have all of these affairs; he rarely plays on the PGA Tour!! Check his schedule of appearances last year..what did he play, 16 weeks?? Plus a few here and there overseas, gives him AT LEAST half of the weekends off and free to roam. The guy is another example of pushing celebrity and sense of entitlement, while at the same time coming across as Mr. Perfect. He is a scumbag.

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I agree with you Lauren, this is not our business. We have too much to worry about in this world than to keep our minds and eyes on Tiger Woods. We should be praying for the whole family. This just goes to show by some of the comments made, how little some of us think about the sanctity of marriage. Wake up people, awaken your old values..they worked.. this new morden thinking is just taking us further and further away from God and the ruin of our lives and family.

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Whatever "Lauren"....you're the one who googled Tiger Woods text messages. LOL

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those texts are just gross. that rachel chick should have a little self respect. if a guy replied to me saying "dont text me till tomorrow" I'd stop texting him PERIOD. Also, I don't believe those e-mails are real. In his texts, he doesn't say ONE romantic thing to her, even when his wife is gone. He just wants sex in secret. But all of a sudden he is madly in love when he e-mails her....e-mails which could so easily be forwarded. Sorry, don't buy it.

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Tiger wasn't ready to get married. That's fairly obvious. He wasn't done sowing his wild oats. He never should have married her. His e-mails and texts reveal that fact. Tiger's indiscretions are a reflection of our society's view of marriage and commitment.
He married because that was what society expected out of him. He didn't marry Elin because he was in love with her. He couldn't be if he's running around with ten other women.

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I feel like it's ridiculous that this is what the world thrives to read. A pink website, bashing, stereotyping, guessing - gossip like nobodys buiss. Regardless what is true, it's not our life to worry about. If any of you believe in god, leave the man alone.

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To those who don't know, even after PRESIDENT CLINTON'S escapades,
what a SEX ADDICT is, witness TIGER WOODS. Among other things, a
SEX ADDICT is someone who has "dangerous" sex, ie: sex with the
wrong people, in the wrong places, at the wrong times, even tho
it can kill you or them (AIDS), lose you your family, loved ones,
money, respect, health, SOUL, and many other things, and you just
keep on doing it! It is like being drunk with alcohol or drugs, but
in THESE cases it is SEX. The only answer to RECOVERY from this
true ADDICTION is a 12 step RECOVERY PROGRAM. This is not being
judgmental, just stating the facts.

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tiger's the man. have your fun and live life up. to hell with what the tight-azzes think. 90% are full of sh!t anyway.

Tiger Woods Biography

Tiger and Charlie Woods Tiger Woods is the best golfer in the history of the world. The talented athlete has also married a blonde bombshell and inspired... More »
Born
Full Name
Tiger Woods
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