Robert Halderman, the alleged "mastermind" of a $2 million extortion plot against David Letterman, is just throwing everything at the legal wall at this point.
The CBS News producer is using the Tiger Woods scandal as a precedent to fight the charges against him, which could land him in jail for years if convicted.
Halderman's lawyer, Gerald Shargel, notes in legal papers that when news of Tiger's infidelity surfaced, mistress Rachel Uchitel reportedly signed a multi-million dollar settlement in return for her silence, with the help of Gloria Allred.
Shargel notes, admiringly, "Their behavior was capitalist, not criminal."
The lawyer says Robert Halderman, who is reportedly seeking a plea deal in the case, merely "offered to sell a very marketable story" of Letterman sleeping with Stephanie Birkitt, and that it was a simple business transaction.
Except for the part where he deliberately tried to shake Letterman down.
It was only a matter of time until these cheating scandals collided.
Shargel says that celebrity misdeeds have "significant fair market value" and they are "routinely suppressed through private business arrangements."
His argument, however thin and stretched, is that Rachel wasn't prosecuted for taking Tiger's money, so why would Halderman for wanting Dave's?
Gloria Allred, for her part, is far from pleased that Halderman's lawyer compared himself to Rachel Uchitel, saying he has no basis to make such claims:
"I have no personal knowledge of his case. He has no personal knowledge and therefore, no basis for remarks about my representation of Ms. Uchitel."
"Mr. Shargel should spend his time representing his client based on facts, rather than comparing it to matters of which he has no personal knowledge."
In other words, Rachel's settlement was confidential. If there even was a settlement, which is widely believed to be true, but it is, by definition, secret.