by Free Britney at . Comments

Joe Francis has been named the Douche of the Decade by a prominent celebrity gossip site. He's cool with that - but not about Gawker calling him a rapist.

The Girls Gone Wild kingpin is vowing to sue the site for $10 million after it referred to him as "a rapist" while crowning him the winner of its recent poll.

Incidentally, Francis received 32 percent of the nearly 9,000 votes cast. We would have probably bet on a different douchebag, but Joe is very deserving.

"You messed with the wrong guy. No one makes up lies about me and gets away with it," an irate, douchey Francis e-mailed Gawker founder Nick Denton.

"I lost a $10 million deal as a direct result of you calling me 'a rapist.' You will be paying me every dime of that back and more! Are you mentally retarded?"

"Do your research first," the sleaze added. "I am coming at you harder than I ever went after anyone. I am going to wipe you off the grid! YOU ARE DONE!"

DOUCHE OF THE DECADE: In the end, there was little competition.

"You, Nick Denton, are truly the douche of the decade. Merry Xmas IDIOT!!!"

And with those words, Joe officially earned his Douche of the Decade crown.

Francis attached a shirtless pic of himself (above), adding, "I sent you an updated picture of how I look ... because you seem to be sexually obsessed with me."

Alright then.

Francis told Page Six that the Gawker line were directly responsible for him losing a $10 million distribution deal, as if that were even remotely possible.

"They used Wikipedia as their source. It's pathetic," said Francis, who has never been formally accused of rape (just tax evasion, woman-beating, etc).

Gawker managing editor Gabriel Snyder did not apologize, and said this in response to Joe's threats: "We wanted to retire the word 'douche' by crowning Joe Francis as its apotheosis, but it looks like he's determined to remain the standard-bearer."

Your move, Joe.

by Hilton Hater at . Comments

She may have had her life threatened by her husband just a few days ago, but Charlie Sheen can't hold Brooke Mueller down!

(Well, unless he's holding a knife to her throat.)

Charlie Sheen and Brooke Mueller Photo

On the same day that a police affidavit was released, specifically detailing the disturbing allegations against her husband, Mueller headed to the Caribou Club in Aspen, a celebrity hot spot in the ski town.

Said a witness to E! News: "Brooke was low-key. She was talking to friends and walking around the small club, but she stayed until closing time."

Also present at the establishment were stars such as Paris Hilton, Doug Reinhardt and Gerard Butler. But sources say Brooke remained with her friends for the duration of the evening.

"You could barely tell it was her," said an onlooker. "While most clubgoers were dressed up, Brooke was in jeans, a casual green sweater and no makeup."

Sheen, meanwhile, is back in Los Angeles. Fortunately, insiders say he and Mueller's kids were playing in the snow at a local park with a nanny on Monday, unaware of the domestic drama between their parents.

"The boys looked happy and carefree," a local said.

by Hilton Hater at . Comments

Charlie Sheen may have threatened to execute his wife.

Bristol Palin and Levi Johnston are fighting in court over the custody of their son.

In this depressing month of celebrity couples news, it's nice to be reminded that some pairings are still together, adorable and going strong.

THG readers, we present Tony Parker and Eva Longoria!

In a recently-released video, the Spurs point guard and Desperate Housewives actress re-enact - scene for scene, word for word - the classic Grease single "Summer Lovin." It's a must-watch:

On his official website, Parker says he and his wife shot this rendition as part of a fun challenge. He asks readers to re-create their favorite musical and the best entry will win a trip to San Antonio for a Spurs game.

That's the sort of holiday gesture we can get behind.

by Free Britney at . Comments

Copay for doctor's office visit to get checked for STDs? $20. Body shop work on the Escalade? $8,100. New 7-iron? $99. Potential net loss for sponsors? $12 billion.

Entertainment value for celebrity gossip sites? Priceless!

So it goes for the Tiger Woods, who's become a one-man stimulus package for gossip magazines and websites worldwide, but a sinkhole for his own sponsors.

According to a study by two economics professors, Woods' sponsors (those who haven't dumped him) are really feeling the fallout of his recent sex scandal.

Tiger may have cost the companies he endorses as much as $12 billion between the time he wrecked his SUV Thanksgiving night and now, they theorize.

Fittingly, that's about one billion for each of Tiger Woods' women!

A BIG WINNER: Well, for us. For Nike and Gatorade, he's the opposite.

Nike, Gatorade and EA Sports were hit hardest as a result of their carefully worded vows of support for the cheater extraordinaire, losing a total of $6 billion.

Just imagine if Tiger and Rachel Uchitel are really still together, which has been reported more than once in the past week or so. Better unload stock now!

Fortunately, Accenture managed to escape their Woods association with no negative financial effects to their company. Then again, they pulled Tiger's ads.

The question is, now that the shock value of Tiger's mistresses has started to fade a bit, will Woods be able to redeem and redefine his image? If so, how?

by Hilton Hater at . Comments

In 2004, Ted Nugent gave an interview in which he said homosexuality was "morally wrong."

A year later, the rocker was sued for child support for failing to pay the woman with whom he had a baby out of wedlock.

This irony and hypocrisy is worth noting in light of the recent comments Nugent made to some magazine called Royal Flush. Speaking to the publication, he said of the President:

"I think that Barack Hussein Obama should be put in jail. It is clear that Barack Hussein Obama is a communist. Mao Tse Tung lives and his name is Barack Hussein Obama. This country should be ashamed. I wanna throw up."

Such a viewpoint elicits two responses from a rational individual:

  1. The only "evidence" any critic can cite that Obama is, indeed, a Communist would be the fact that he's daring to reform health care.
  2. Even if one were to somehow acknowledge this bizarre supposition, Nugent might wanna look up the First Amendment. The same passage that allows him to utter these words would also allow anyone to hold the views of Communism without legal repercussions.

Putting aside Nugent's clear lack of sanity, do you agree with his accusation? Is Barack Obama a Communist?

 

by Free Britney at . Comments

Unlike tens of thousands of Playgirl subscribers who flocked to see pictures of Levi Johnston nude, Bristol Palin wants nothing to do with her baby daddy.

A heated custody battle between Levi and Bristol is heating up after she petitioned for sole custody over their son Tripp, who just turned one yesterday.

Bristol: Dancer With the Stars

The request by Bristol Palin for sole custody was made public after a Superior Court judge ruled last week against keeping the court proceedings closed.

A temporary order authorized the use of pseudonyms while the court handled the request, as no good "could result to the child by an onslaught of media."

Levi Johnston pushed for open court proceedings - there's a shocker!

"I feel more comfortable in a public courtroom which will help everyone stay civil and be on their best behavior," the media whore said in a statement.

RNC-YA! Bristol dumped Levi shortly after the '08 campaign.

Levi is seeking shared custody and denies claims by Bristol Palin that he has been avoiding his parental responsibilities, according to multiple reports.

In addition to sole custody, Bristol requested child support and asked that Johnston's mother, Sherry, not be allowed unsupervised visits with Tripp.

Sherry Johnston was busted for dealing drugs earlier this year.

"The best interests of the child compel the conclusion that Bristol should be awarded 100 percent legal and physical custody of Tripp, with visitation rights in favor of Levi," Bristol's attorney Thomas V. Van Flein said in court papers.

Bristol and Johnston conveniently broke off their fake engagement, concocted to make Sarah Palin look less terrible during the 2008 presidential campaign after the news of Bristol's pregnancy broke, shortly after Tripp was born.

by Free Britney at . Comments

The guy accused of trying to blackmail David Letterman has offered to plead guilty in exchange for a one-year prison term, according to the New York Post.

Robert Halderman's lawyer, Gerald Shargel, denied knowing anything about an offer, saying: "There have been no plea negotiations. None whatsoever."

He would say that regardless, of course, and it's all a moot point until January, when Cyrus Vance Jr. takes over as Manhattan's new District Attorney.

A one-year term would be a far cry from the 15 he's facing.

Halderman stands accused of trying to shake down Letterman for $2 million by threatening to expose the TV star's series of sexual affairs with staffers.

Letterman admitted as much - and was blatantly honest in his on-air apology to fans, staffers and wife Regina Lasko - even breaking the story himself.

WHAT A RACKET: Halderman is accused of trying to shake down Letterman.

Prosecutors allege that Halderman dropped off a one-page "screenplay treatment" with Letterman's driver September 9. The proposed "story line" revolved around an intern-loving comedian whose sexy antics were about to be outed.

That plot appeared to make direct reference to Letterman's admitted affair with intern Stephanie Birkitt - also Halderman's ex-girlfriend - and others.

But instead of caving, Letterman went to war, contacting police and wiring his lawyer for a series of meet-ups with Halderman, who was later arrested.

He is free on $200,000 bail. Shargel has filed papers demanding dismissal of the charges, arguing that this was nothing but a "business transaction."

Prosecutors aren't buying that, though, saying that Halderman hatched the extortion plot with the screenplay nonsense as his intended cover stlory and admitted on tape that he resorted to the scheme because he needed the money.

by Free Britney at . Comments

Yesterday, THG readers were given the challenge of writing the best caption for the celebrity pic below. Your Caption Contest winner is MissEnya.

While we loved the references to Lindsay and Adam Senn, we had to go with this hilariously straightforward (and likely) the most accurate entry.

Congratulations on a job well done! The winning entry appears below the photo, and you can click here to read the full list of submissions sent in.

Thanks to everyone for playing! Good luck next time!

Lohan Smoking

brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp!

by Hilton Hater at . Comments

Taylor Swift had an incredible 2009. But the year will end on a down note for the singer, or at least for fans of her love life.

Sources confirm that Swift has put the brakes on her relationship with Taylor Lautner, as an insider tells Us Weekly "he liked her more than she liked him."

We've been there, T. Laut. We came to the same realization a few years ago about Jennifer Love Hewitt.

While neither Taylor ever went on record with an official acknowledgment of this relationship, both sides hosted Saturday Night Live over the past couple months and referenced the other in a cute manner. They were also spotted frequently together.

However, "it wasn't really developing into anything, and wasn't going to, so they decided they were better as friends," a source said. "There was no chemistry, and it felt contrived."

This insider claims the relationship pretty much ended when Lautner flew to Nashville for Swift's birthday party on December 13. It was an example of the lengths he often went to for the singer, yet she "didn't travel much to see him," the friend says.

While Swift is still smarting from her 2008 break-up with Joe Jonas, who dumped her in an infamous 27-second phone call, the future looks somewhat bright for these Taylors.

"They plan to stay friends," says the acquaintance.

by Free Britney at . Comments

Stop us if you've heard this one before: Amy Winehouse collapsed yesterday.

The cause, as hilariously described by the singer's rep? Nervous exhaustion!

Wino is being treated at home for exhaustion after a chest infection "coupled with the stress of her recent arrest on suspicion of assault" both took their toll.

THG NOTE: Also taking their toll? Massive amounts of hard ass drugs.

A source close to the 26-year-old train wreck said that she is “soldiering on” to get her latest album completed (riiiiiight) despite not feeling well these days.

The star has been told to “keep low profile and fully recuperate” over the festive period. That means keeping Blake Fielder-Civil at least 100 yards away.

Smokin' Wino

Amy Winehouse sure is exhausted a lot. [Photo: PacificCoastNewsOnline.com]

Amy’s recent arrest - for allegedly attacking a theatre manager at a performance of Cinderella in Milton Keynes on December 19 - has led to her being charged with assault - or in UK terms, "a public order offence and common assault."

She will appear in court to answer to the charges on January 20.

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