Jersey Shore Recap: "Good Riddance"

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Saying Jersey Shore is a bad show is an understatement, and kind of missing the point. MTV is in on the joke this time, and turning the trash quotient up to 11.

The Hollywood Gossip staff has reviewed last night's episode in the style of our The City and The Hills reviews, awarding and deducting points as we deem fit.

Leave a comment with your own pluses and minuses, and your feedback in general. If our Jersey Shore review "gels" with you, we'll make it a regular thing...

Last week's episode was "The Tanned Triangle." Like the Bermuda Triangle, only less mysterious, and more exposed to the sun. Tanning bed style. Plus 2.

Jenni, like, doesn't even remember that she hooked up with Pauly. Did she forget running out da club with his sweaty tank top, too? Minus 3, you lush!

Angelina's friends are Alana and Elena. We're not sure if all "guidettes" must elect names ending in "na" to gain acceptance, but we'll buy it if so. Plus 2.

Gelled but contemplative, Pauly says she didn't want to come off like a "trash bag." Wrong show for that, sister. Minus only 1, because it's all relative.

We're only gonna say it once, because it applies every second: These guidos have enough oil in their hair to join OPEC! Sorry. Plus 2 for us going there.

The Situation

HERE'S THE SITUATION: No, really. That's his name now.

Mike, a.k.a. The Situation, can't get over Sammi, a.k.a. Sweetheart, trading him for younger, more ripped guido Ronnie. It's everyone's worst fear. Plus 3.

When Nicole, a.k.a. Snooki, comes off as the smartest, reserved and polite, our society may be done for. Or at least New Jersey may be over as a state. Minus 5.

Trying (in vain) to navigate BF drama amid the Pauly hookup, Jenni says she's been "acting like a nun" and needs to party! So virtuous, indeed. Plus 11.

Angelina's boyfriend Mike makes an appearance. The distance thing is hurting their relationship. The fact that he's married can't help either. Minus 17.

Angelina decides to call in sick from work ... only she doesn't call, she walks in late to tell them ... she's not coming in. LOL. Minus 5, because these people are obviously buffoons, but you'd think they'd have heard of an invention called the phone.

Plus 12 for the house's collective reaction to Angie leaving. That reaction being no reaction. Not even getting up off the furniture. It's an emotional crew.

Sammi + Ronnie = Real. His word, not ours. Plus 6.

Jealous, Mike unveils "The Situation." Sammi doesn't flinch. Minus 3, but Plus 9 later when Ronnie grinds with some chick, Sammi gives her number to a strange guy in retaliation, Jenni sees this and rats her out, and Ronnie leaves in a huff.

TOTAL: +13! While advertisers and locals may not be fans, you can see why Jersey Shore has already attracted a so-bad-it's-good following. Thoughts?

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ok. I live in New Jersey and they re nothing like anyone we have here. This is an exaggeration of a small percentage of people you find in this state. If they wanted to make a relaity T.V show about new jersey, they would have been better off incorporating the GSP and road rage. These tools do not rep. my state and its certainly why they keep getting into fights in SLEAZESIDE. please, its seaside. The last time I was there a prostitute was walking around with a vodka bottle in a brown paper bag. We may not be classy, but these people are bringing the sterotype to a whole new level.
but in the end, I'm kind of flattered that they'd at least feature New jersey in something. I'd rather be from somewhere entertaining than say Connecticut or North Dakota. Every State has its stereotypes and I prefer to laugh at this one.

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Dam./
But he's qot a BIG
nose.LMAO

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its angelinas friend Elena ! I am not a guidette nor italian ! I am puerto rican.

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Everyone needs to lighten up and get that stick out of their asses. This show is hilarious and it's ENTERTAINMENT. No one with an ounce of intelligence believes ALL Jersey people look and act that way. Stop being so insecure and enjoy the show for what it is: comedy!

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these people are such a disgrace to ITALY

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hahaha you mean "we pump our fists not gas" isn't true? This show is gonna get great ratings from all the retards who love it and the ones from NJ trying to pretend this doesn't go on there. The Shore, like any other, beach -(semi tourist spot) has visitors, and if you're seriously going to play like someone from 30 minutes away is from a different planet you are more retarded then the DOOFS on the show. I'm from upstate NY(4 hrs away)and visit the shore every summer mostly to enjoy the house music. So of course people visit, but on one special occasion in which I actually looked because my whole car was keyed at headliners in neptune NJ, I had the only NY plates in the whole parking lot. Thank you Haters. Atleast the show is stirring shit up and giving all the other TOOLS that exist something to talk about.

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I'm from the West coast and love this show! Why is everybody hating so much! I'll take some "Situation" any day of the week! Come on out to WA state. We're too "vanilla" and could use some Italian spice out here!!

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I love, Love, Love the show - its about Young People partying at the Shore that happen to be Italian-Americans, all the haters get over it, its not about a heratage or culture its about being young enough to live it up at the Shore in the Summer. Party on...

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totally agree with for_real_tho and lauren. i live in jersey and there are not that many guidos. there are way more in staten island. and btw some of the ppl on the show are from there, they def have the accent. but anyway i love the show. i think its sooo funny. its so trashy but great!!!

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I think this show is hilarious....the thing is,these tools are not just in Jersey, you can find boozing whores and jerks in any beach-party or college town.....these are just hilarious because of their horrible grammar, over-sized egos and ridiculous accents. There are plenty of drunken man & female whores throughout the world....these particular are actually proud of being the sleazebags that they are, as well as their families. It is like a family tradition to sow your wild oats on the shore, for the working class yank. It is like their finishing school, lol...don't deny it, own it....

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