After our review of last week's Jersey Shore received a positive response (well, mostly), The Hollywood Gossip is making reviews of the show a weekly thing.
Below, we break down all the drama in Seaside Heights, N.J., on last night's episode four, "Fade to Black," awarding and deducting points as we deem fit.
Leave a comment with your own pluses, minuses, and feedback ...
Ronnie reminds us of a high-strung Peter Andre on steroids. Plus 4.
When Sammi finds out Jenni and Ronnie went home together, she assumes they're hooking up and says she will "knock a b!tch up!" She's all talk. Minus 3.
After they make up, Ronnie confesses his love (sort of) for Sammi, and they get. It. On. We know because they admit it. Openly. Sammi says "of course" they had sex, and Ronnie says they totally "smooshed." Plus 4 for the use of "smooshed."
Pauly D on first impressions: "You got to stay fresh. Fresh haircut. Fresh outfit. Fresh tan. Just fresh." Plus 2 for that deodorant slogan waiting to happen.
A word on Mike's third-person use of his nickname, "The Situation." It was funny the first 12 times, but saying it like twice per sentence? Overkill. Minus 3.
Mike and Pauly D spend the episode trying to bag as many trash bags as possible. Plus 6 for Pauly taking "the grenade" for the team, and for being very polite when he discovered he couldn't score with that girl because of her period.
THE SITUATION AND DJ PAULY D: Caption rendered unnecessary.
Jenni (JWOWW) and her boyfriend fight on the phone over her hookup with Pauly. Minus 2 for boredom and Minus 2 more for constant use of the weird duck phone.
Plus 3 for the best excuse ever, courtesy of Snooki. Jenni was not being a trash bag of her own free will that night: house music made her do it. We've all been there.
Speaking of Snooki, you know this night is gonna get ugly when she wears a belt as a skirt (censorship required!). Minus 5 for the skank factor (even for this show).
Snooki's reply to her mom's observation that the beach looks dirty? "It's the Jersey Shore." Plus 6 for the inevitable press release from N.J.'s tourism department.
You knew it was coming: A guido named Brad Ferro yoinks one of the housemates' drinks. Snooki confronts him. Her a$$ proceeds to get knocked the f*%k out by this lunatic. Minus 9 for punching a chick, even one as annoying as Snooki.
Plus 5 for MTV pulling the Snooki sucker punch. Given Snooki's personality and the over-the-top nature of the show, it might seem funny (at least to the type of person who cracks up during a preview for I Am Sam), but it's no laughing matter.
TOTAL: +6! SEASON: +19! Still entertaining, and the Snooki drama made it a must-see, but the shore-ites annoyed us more than charmed us this week. What do you think? Is the novelty wearing off already or are you hooked?