Jersey Shore, a.k.a. Guido Beach, Premieres on MTV

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"I'm the sweetest bitch you'll ever meet." - Sammi

"After I have sex with a guy, I will rip their heads off." - Jenni

"Guidos... when we stop, our chrome keeps spinnin'! I was born and raised a Guido. It's just a lifestyle. It's about bein' Italian. It's representin' family, friends, tanning, gel, everything. Dude I got a f**kin' tanning bed in my place, that's how serious I am about bein' a Guido and living up to that lifestyle. My tagline is 'I'm Your Girl's Favorite DJ.' I want the girls to c** in their pants when they hear my music." - Pauly D

It suddenly makes perfect sense why MTV renewed The Hills and The City despite sagging ratings and dwindling fan bases. The network's new shows are worse!

On this week's debut of Jersey Shore, which we've been waiting for since the Guido-hyping promo, eight roomies moved into a Seaside Heights, N.J., home.

The quotes above sum it up as well as we can in this space. Here's the full Jersey Shore premiere, which really has to be seen to be believed ...

If we were residents of New Jersey, we'd probably be incredibly offended ... unless we were the types who had tanning beds in our homes. Then we'd be all for it.

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Pauly D is sexy

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This is just awful.

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Wow...can these insecure people be any shallower!

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can you believe the idiots at TRU TV let this go???

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worst show ever

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That was *so* painful. I just moved out of Staten Island...and they really are like that. Go on Urban Dictionary...look up "staten island girl" its hilarious... ...and sad cuz its so true

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This show is your typical trainwreck.....yankees are just freaks....

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Dego is actually what real Italians like myself prefer. Calling an Italian a guido is like calling a Mexican a spic or an Asian a chink. Offensive yet laughable. Luckily for all of the viewing public this show won't last simply because the real Jersey' Italians will show these ignorant, fake tanned, roided out, skanks how creative they can really be with a turntable.

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uhhh isn't guido an offensive term to people of italian origin ... is it the type of thing where only they can use it and have it not be offensive?

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