Pray with us, THG readers.
Kourtney Kardashian gave birth to a boy this morning, prompting a nationwide need to stop, bow our heads and ask the Man Upstairs to look after this addition to the Kardashian clan. He'll need all the help he can get.
Indeed, Kourtney and shady boyfriend Scott Disick are now the proud new parents of Mason Dash Disick - seriously, his middle name is the same as the family boutique - who arrived in Los Angeles weighin seven pounds and six ounces.
Confirmed Kourt's publicist, at approximately 12:30 p.m. EST:
"Kourtney just delivered a healthy baby boy about an hour ago."
Earlier this week, sisters Khloe and Kim Kardashian said Kourtney thought her water broke because she felt some cold liquid on her leg.
Despite that faux pas, Kim believes her sibling will be a great mother.
"Kourtney didn't even like kids," Kim said recently. "I never thought she'd ever want to have a baby. [But now] I think Kourt's going to be the most amazing mom."
She'll certainly be the most amazing at pimping her child out on the cover of magazines. Look out, Larry Birkhead! You've got competition.