On The Hills this week, Brody and Kristin debated rekindling their flame, Audrina lamented that hers for Justin-Bobby won't die, and Spencer had a brilliant idea.
As always, The Hollywood Gossip editors look back at Tuesday night's episode of The Hills (as we do for The City) awarding and deducting points as we see fit for ...
Brody and Kristin meet for dinner. He says it's good to be single. Kristin says Jayde Nicole is gonna come after her soon. Obvious foreshadowing alert! Plus 4.
Spencer Pratt to Heidi Montag and her pleading to have a baby: "I ... I ... I. Everything is I. There's a 'we' in marriage." Ha, as if. Typical naive guy. Minus 2.
Team Enzo! Plus 5, and Plus 2 more for him playing with the little dogs Spencer got Heidi to make her not want kids. Plus 1 more for that failing miserably.
Audrina to Lo, re: Justin: "Why won't the spark go out, Lo!?" Barf. Minus 6, because her taste is sooo bad, but Plus 3 for Lo's reply: "Get a fire extinguisher."
Stacie has gone from "Bartender" to "Kristin's Friend." Plus 1.
Jayde Nicole and Kristin Cavallari nearly came to blows over Brody.
Brody's mom looks a little too much like Shauna Sand. Minus 2.
Spencer: "You gotta go to Beverly Hills when you talk about chopping off nuts." Plus 11, because 1. He's right; 2. He thought a vasectomy was easily reversible, and 3.; He cracked up like a 10-year-old when the doctor said "scrotum."
Enzo overhears Spencer talking about the incident and outs him to Heidi, telling her "Spencer went to the doctor!" Minus 3, Enzo, for this Guy Code violation.
Jayde just happens to be in the same place where Brody and Kristin are hanging out and goes bat$h!t insane. Plus 7, because despite how set up the altercation was, the pushing, shoving and f-bombs dropped indicate a real, mutual dislike.
Minus 8 for Justin-Bobby almost making it an entire episode without showing his ugly mug, then swooping in at the last minute to make Audrina look pathetic.
Justin on Kristin: "It was the first time I didn't have to worry about what Audrina thought." As if he did while they were together. Plus 2 for the straight face.
TOTAL: +27! SEASON TOTAL: +77! A quality cat fight, however contrived, always boosts totals, as does Spencer Pratt pretending to consider a vasectomy.