The Hills Recap: "On to the Next"

by at . Comments

On The Hills this week, Brody and Kristin debated rekindling their flame, Audrina lamented that hers for Justin-Bobby won't die, and Spencer had a brilliant idea.

As always, The Hollywood Gossip editors look back at Tuesday night's episode of The Hills (as we do for The City) awarding and deducting points as we see fit for ...

Dweebs For a Good Cause

Brody and Kristin meet for dinner. He says it's good to be single. Kristin says Jayde Nicole is gonna come after her soon. Obvious foreshadowing alert! Plus 4.

Spencer Pratt to Heidi Montag and her pleading to have a baby: "I ... I ... I. Everything is I. There's a 'we' in marriage." Ha, as if. Typical naive guy. Minus 2.

Team Enzo! Plus 5, and Plus 2 more for him playing with the little dogs Spencer got Heidi to make her not want kids. Plus 1 more for that failing miserably.

Audrina to Lo, re: Justin: "Why won't the spark go out, Lo!?" Barf. Minus 6, because her taste is sooo bad, but Plus 3 for Lo's reply: "Get a fire extinguisher."

Stacie has gone from "Bartender" to "Kristin's Friend." Plus 1.

Jayde Nicole and Kristin Cavallari nearly came to blows over Brody.

Brody's mom looks a little too much like Shauna Sand. Minus 2.

Spencer: "You gotta go to Beverly Hills when you talk about chopping off nuts." Plus 11, because 1. He's right; 2. He thought a vasectomy was easily reversible, and 3.; He cracked up like a 10-year-old when the doctor said "scrotum."

Enzo overhears Spencer talking about the incident and outs him to Heidi, telling her "Spencer went to the doctor!" Minus 3, Enzo, for this Guy Code violation.

Jayde just happens to be in the same place where Brody and Kristin are hanging out and goes bat$h!t insane. Plus 7, because despite how set up the altercation was, the pushing, shoving and f-bombs dropped indicate a real, mutual dislike.

Minus 8 for Justin-Bobby almost making it an entire episode without showing his ugly mug, then swooping in at the last minute to make Audrina look pathetic.

Justin on Kristin: "It was the first time I didn't have to worry about what Audrina thought." As if he did while they were together. Plus 2 for the straight face.

TOTAL: +27! SEASON TOTAL: +77! A quality cat fight, however contrived, always boosts totals, as does Spencer Pratt pretending to consider a vasectomy.

Tags: , , , , , , ,
Like Us On Facebook

More From The Hollywood Gossip

Kim-kardashian-cleavage-picture

Keeping Up With the Kardashians Season 9 Episode 14 Recap: Brody Jenner Sees Kim Nude!

On Keeping Up With the Kardashians Season 9 Episode 14, Brody Jenner got turned on by Kim Kardashian and Kris and Bruce argued a lot.
Kim-kardashian-melts-down

Keeping Up with the Kardashians Klips: Freaking Out, Walking In

Keeping Up with the Kardashians airs a new episode on Sunday night. Check out two clips from it here.
Brody-jenner-refutes-kim-kardashian-rift

Brody Jenner Denies Kim Kardashian Feud, Had a Blast at Reggie Bush Wedding

Brody Jenner says he is NOT feuding with Kim Kardashian. He simply had to work during her wedding weekend.
Brody-jenner-attend-reggie-bush-wedding

Brody Jenner to Reggie Bush: Way to Not Marry Kim!

Brody Jenner is glad Reggie Bush did not marry Kim Kardashian. He believes his pal "dodged a bullet."

Avatar

I think Jade is beautiful & too good to be on the Hills with those whack ass people [kirstin, brody & loser ass Justin bobby]

Avatar

This is my favorite post every week! THG, you guys are hilarious. I love/hate the Hills and cast so this commentary is perfect for me! thank you bunches!

Avatar

Jayde's face looks like a mask. She looks like she's tons older than she is. What is up with that??

Avatar

Brody is a putz, Kristen is a whore & Jayde is psycho sounds like the hills is in need of a new storyline already with some decent people who can keep our interest!!!!!